tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48329871202131235402024-02-22T08:10:25.322-08:00The Magic NutshellSpells for the 21st century Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.comBlogger223125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-55824180047511588162022-03-23T03:05:00.000-07:002022-03-23T03:05:56.379-07:00I ♥️ Indie Bookstores<p><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px;">My books are available in hardcover and ebook editions through major booksellers, and hardcovers can be purchased from your favorite local indie shop! Buying local is a great way to support literacy, the arts, culture, and strong communities. If you don't see my books in stock at your favorite shop, you can ask the clerk to place an order for you.</span></p><p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px;"></p><p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px;"></p><p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px;"></p><p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgfIF0ozOQvoeXpz1GMupEE1zZ2cnmp2Qq9WpWdiBrnuVAOXqNXECpBOw2kCpCJrkgsgu70iHEzAe3c5sMNwOEKgwEzCx_v32tduW9Iq-ULy6MNsM93Bqe1LxSPNqNGZCVnvZlg3iS9oTRdjMOvbku_d0q4Mqj89ESt-jAbDaacTWQVqX_2lJwLZ-fE3Q=s705" style="color: #729c0b; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" data-original-height="396" data-original-width="705" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgfIF0ozOQvoeXpz1GMupEE1zZ2cnmp2Qq9WpWdiBrnuVAOXqNXECpBOw2kCpCJrkgsgu70iHEzAe3c5sMNwOEKgwEzCx_v32tduW9Iq-ULy6MNsM93Bqe1LxSPNqNGZCVnvZlg3iS9oTRdjMOvbku_d0q4Mqj89ESt-jAbDaacTWQVqX_2lJwLZ-fE3Q=w640-h360" style="border: 0px; height: inherit; max-width: 100%;" width="640" /></a></p><p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px;"><i><a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/2021/02/books.html" style="color: #729c0b; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none;">Leirah and the Wild Man</a></i> and <i><a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/2021/04/the-grove-of-thorismud.html" style="color: #729c0b; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none;">The Grove of Thorismud</a></i> are on sale now at local stores and online retailers.</p><div class="separator" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; clear: both; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg1GJmQIuo5RPn5vb5Q1rjtZdu399-eRp5_41qWtUS0oe0LCqQdV3kQlLINtgdB5sGQwpf6xr-n4Aveygu7J3-sghwxXYaO7yPcCea0R3J2UbLrTonHiRay9cY3jThHQ2l0Hfrv0CruAnzVVE3A4BWnltiUuzpTqxwUq41oHmlgRPVVxaTAu_fDHiylLw=s1440" imageanchor="1" style="color: #729c0b; display: block; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg1GJmQIuo5RPn5vb5Q1rjtZdu399-eRp5_41qWtUS0oe0LCqQdV3kQlLINtgdB5sGQwpf6xr-n4Aveygu7J3-sghwxXYaO7yPcCea0R3J2UbLrTonHiRay9cY3jThHQ2l0Hfrv0CruAnzVVE3A4BWnltiUuzpTqxwUq41oHmlgRPVVxaTAu_fDHiylLw=w640-h640" style="border: 0px; display: block; height: auto; margin: 0px auto; max-width: 100%;" width="640" /></a></div></div>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-37805373357177585182022-03-01T04:52:00.002-08:002024-01-02T03:20:43.011-08:00The Value of Living Close to Your Care Network<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwEOHUPRfvQj6Evw0PflsUIgh9ScpAXMPlw-t7-4Y1klWagl7XafXg5fxFBHKRcmnZjoAiGEybst-JOYyf8owzVKq2XISiNHKvwcuwMfSY2NvTAuhFtACI8OHo5PF4dAJTail7EGSCwOwA/s2048/IMG_2810+%25282%2529.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="469" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwEOHUPRfvQj6Evw0PflsUIgh9ScpAXMPlw-t7-4Y1klWagl7XafXg5fxFBHKRcmnZjoAiGEybst-JOYyf8owzVKq2XISiNHKvwcuwMfSY2NvTAuhFtACI8OHo5PF4dAJTail7EGSCwOwA/w625-h469/IMG_2810+%25282%2529.JPG" width="625" /></a></div><p>Right in the nick of time, before Covid lockdowns, my family shared our best-ever Thanksgiving, Christmas, and 9th birthday party, all at my parents' new house down the road from my house. Looking back at that time feels like a dream now. Those memories were priceless in getting us through the next two years.<br /></p><p></p><p>While my parents and my immediate family held the line and refrained from visiting with any other households indoors, my parents' proximity to my house made it easy for us to visit with them frequently, in each other's backyards. They came up with fun things for us to do together from a safe physical distance, like watch my daughter play in the sprinkler or an inflatable pool, or put up a badminton net.</p><p>It was good for our mental health and family relationships to have that access to safe ways of spending quality time together without having to go through all the complicated logistics of traveling in a pandemic.</p><p>My grandmother and several extended family members also live in town, a short drive away, so we can all look out for each other, do favors, and check in face-to-face--if only through a window. It's better than having to choose between a frustrating phone call or a perilous journey.</p><p>This year, living near jobs and schools has become less important, and being geographically close to significant loved ones has skyrocketed in obvious value. As a result, inter-generational households are a normal thing again, and grandparents are more inclined to settle near their grandchildren and personal support networks than to fly away to Florida or some other heavenly waiting room, relying upon commercial services and convenient air travel to keep them living independently and connected to family and old friends.<br /></p><p>After the pandemic ends, unfortunately, I do not expect the childcare industry to bounce back without extreme governmental intervention. Many facilities have shut down permanently, and many childcare providers have been forced to look for other kinds of work. Having family members or close friends nearby who can share or provide childcare can save parents many thousands of dollars a year, and it can benefit older relatives cognitively and emotionally to enjoy a strong bond with younger generations.</p><p>Of course, all of the above joys and benefits only apply to relationships that are healthy. No human relationships are perfect or without their challenges, but there is a difference between annoying and abusive. There is no overall benefit to living with or near abusive relatives. Healthy people get into arguments with their romantic partners, children, parents, other relatives, and friends over many things--different preferences and philosophies, different standards of behavior, different personalities. </p><p>Good conflicts challenge the people having them to grow or become stronger in some way, even if the growth merely consists of learning tolerance for someone else's limitations.</p><p>Toxic conflicts, however, consist of one person tearing down, manipulating, or controlling another person for selfish reasons. The pandemic is a fine time to socially distance, not just physically but emotionally, from abusers or codependent takers who don't hold you in mutual respect and care. Sadly, the pandemic has exacerbated domestic violence, substance abuse, and gun fanaticism, which has made the home a serious health hazard for anyone living with an abuser. <br /></p><p>Leaving an abusive domestic arrangement is an extremely dangerous process, and having a strong social support network (which abusers try to deny their victims) is critical to a survivor's ability to make a safe, clean break and successfully restart life in a better place.</p><p>For those not blessed with any healthy family relationships, deeply committed friendships can serve many of the same purposes. It takes more work to build and nurture those connections that feel like kinship without a biological tie, but it is both possible and beautiful. <br /></p><p>As we are learning this year, people matter more than jobs, and strong interpersonal relationships weave a much more reliable support network than anything an employer or set of private businesses can provide.</p><p>While I have absolutely loved traveling internationally, and I have witnessed plenty of success stories of people who have sailed on the wind to put down roots in a faraway land, the value of living in close proximity to your own human resources is incalculable. If you can't gather your family and best friends into one location on the map, put time and effort into nurturing new relationships close to home. Having a local tribe of people who you don't pay for their services to you, who expect good things from you and generously provide them in a fluidly mutual partnership, not only saves you money but could actually save your life. And, it turns out, these relationships are what living is all about.<br /></p><p style="text-align: center;">📚</p><p>Jean Michelle Miernik is the author of <a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/"><i>Leirah and the Wild Man: A Tale of Obsession and Survival at the Edges of the Byzantine World</i> and <i>The Grove of Thorismud: A Beauty, a Beast, a Slayer, and a Priest</i></a>.</p>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-37636208908839959732022-03-01T04:33:00.002-08:002022-03-20T05:25:25.006-07:00Save $5K a Year + Healthcare by Eating InLearn to cook--or make someone else do it. Do you have <a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/2021/09/men-belong-in-kitchen.html">a man</a>, a child in upper elementary or higher, a roommate, or a good friend you see regularly? Delegation is possible. Without giving up quality time with your favorite people, <a href="https://groomandstyle.com/eating-at-home-vs-eating-out/" target="_blank">going on a home-cooked diet can upgrade your life and save you thousands of dollars every year</a>.<br />
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Me, I love cooking. It's one of the sensual pleasures of my life. So anytime I can make the time, I cook for myself and my family and sometimes for my friends or my daughter's friends. I love colorful spice jars and crushing things with a pestle and squishing my hands into dough.<br />
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If you don't love cooking, you can make a deal with others in your life to make it happen.<br />
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I have a single lady friend who enjoys cooking but struggles with meal planning and grocery shopping for one on an irregular schedule. She wanted to get back into the habit of cooking and eating healthy meals, so she used a short-term subscription to a meal kit service to make it easier.<br />
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Personally, I think hanging out with friends is more fun and laid-back when we eat at someone's home instead of going out, and it sure costs less.<br />
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Cooking skills are also great for treating romantic partners to intimate, impressive dates without a hefty bill--or a side of <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/foodsafety/newsletter/new-report-foodborne-disease-outbreaks-9-20-19.html" target="_blank">foodborne disease</a>.<br />
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Learning how to prepare nutritious food is one of those adulting things that can be fun and extremely pleasurable if you get into it, and it makes you a healthier, wealthier person. Find recipes online, in magazines, in cookbooks, in your family traditions, on TV--however you like to discover them. Get yourself a cute apron, turn on motivating music, and get busy in the kitchen--or drop a hint to your sexytimes partner that they are extremely attractive to you when they cook.<br />
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When you get used to eating in, the rare occasions when you go out to eat will feel more special. It's a win-win-win for a more savory existence. Buen provecho!<div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiOmBiT_e7r_CWnB0THy9IXfiBuaUJceB9MBLP0-eCMGiRjMpLEF73ZIuK5_XuTXKqcA-DPJsuMdPuXRlsCddIomYVompaMxchxIVe4fBE4BvfBFTcRmS_Z1GIrz-ymv5GzZ8R0KQ3NzQVtCflCnSS2bjZgDacIAlrfLJ2UctMj-ZPzFnCN2wtYJPsn-A=s1440" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiOmBiT_e7r_CWnB0THy9IXfiBuaUJceB9MBLP0-eCMGiRjMpLEF73ZIuK5_XuTXKqcA-DPJsuMdPuXRlsCddIomYVompaMxchxIVe4fBE4BvfBFTcRmS_Z1GIrz-ymv5GzZ8R0KQ3NzQVtCflCnSS2bjZgDacIAlrfLJ2UctMj-ZPzFnCN2wtYJPsn-A=w640-h640" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div><p style="text-align: center;">📚</p><p>Jean Michelle Miernik is the author of <a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/"><i>Leirah and the Wild Man: A Tale of Obsession and Survival at the Edges of the Byzantine World</i> and <i>The Grove of Thorismud: A Beauty, a Beast, a Slayer, and a Priest</i></a>.</p></div>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-57623917841685510492022-03-01T03:23:00.001-08:002024-01-02T03:34:15.677-08:00Free FitnessGym memberships and exercise classes can be motivating, but <a href="https://www.npr.org/2018/12/12/676129459/get-started-exercising" target="_blank">they are not necessary to live a healthy lifestyle</a>. My husband and I have been on opposite weight journeys since childhood--I was chronically underweight, and he shed 100 pounds in early adulthood--and we've both settled into a naturally healthy lifestyle that has allowed us to raise a child with no weight or nutritional struggles whatsoever.<div><br /></div><div>I've never had a gym membership or a fitness tracking device in my life, and I am a slimmer-than-average person with somewhat visible abs and a resting heart rate under 65. I do not diet, track, or count calories in or out. I don't even keep a scale at home--I check my weight infrequently because I know that weight itself is not a very useful measure of health. I simply build movement into every day and try to make it fun--so, for me, that means no HIIT or distance running! I did a lot of those strenuous activities as a teen, but as an adult I have ascended to the vibe of <a href="https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/quick-guide-intuitive-eating" target="_blank">intuitive eating</a> and <a href="https://health.usnews.com/health-news/blogs/eat-run/articles/why-you-should-try-intuitive-exercise" target="_blank">intuitive exercise</a>.<br />
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As I wrote just before the dawn of the decade, "<a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/2019/12/2020s-vision-playgrounds-not-prisons.html">my personal vision statement for the 2020s is to turn everything I can into a playground, not a prison.</a>" I want to find joy in all the stuff I have to do to survive, including exercise. So here are some examples of how I make fitness fun and easy without paying a cent for tracking tech or gym fees:<br />
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<b>I play outside.</b><br />
Whenever possible, I do fun stuff with my family outdoors. In the photo above, my daughter and I are "working out" (for just a few easy minutes at a time) at what we call the "adult playground" at our local park, an outdoor gym that anyone can use for free. We also climb on the regular kids' play structures, chase each other in games of tag, and ride our bikes on the sidewalks and trails, as you can see a woman doing in the background.<br />
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In the winter, we take every just-right-weather opportunity to go sledding.<br />
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In all seasons, we take every possible opportunity to walk somewhere (school, a grocery store, the mall, the library, a friend or family member's house, etc.) instead of driving.<br />
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In the summer, <a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/2018/05/merfolk-have-no-swimsuit-season.html">we go swimming</a> once in a while.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2svl80hk6BhSh3gRJEGseLoU1XGhXQM8ftf7QJGxlBisGVIsIjoa27DvKlrkJ6hT8kfq8WWOk_vPGVFTOGVpP-RFRErVsytd9S7eL9frGto2hhs8sEqb8UU_wc6jKEBH_3okH71eGYBxl/s1600/UFEP9560.JPG" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2svl80hk6BhSh3gRJEGseLoU1XGhXQM8ftf7QJGxlBisGVIsIjoa27DvKlrkJ6hT8kfq8WWOk_vPGVFTOGVpP-RFRErVsytd9S7eL9frGto2hhs8sEqb8UU_wc6jKEBH_3okH71eGYBxl/s320/UFEP9560.JPG" width="320" /></a>We do as many of our chores manually as possible. We do not own a leaf blower or snow blower. We shovel our own snow by hand, do our yardwork almost completely without powered tools, and I often mow our lawns with an old-fashioned manual mower. <br />
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On those days when I really, really don't want to play outside but I need to move my body... <br />
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<b>I work the living room.</b><br />
I can find a professionally designed workout for every mood on YouTube for free. I just move aside the coffee table, make sure the rug is nice and clean or roll out a yoga mat, and choose a workout between 10 and 30 minutes in length--easy peasy.<br />
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If I'm feeling bouncy or I want to get pumped up, I look for videos by sunshiny, peppy, adorable instructors who obviously love what they do. My favorites include <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/liloliloish" target="_blank">Leilah Isaac</a> for dance, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCP0YQTklvNoPfV6fPZH_ZjQ" target="_blank">Kat Musni</a> for strength training, and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/popsugartvfit" target="_blank">POPSUGAR Fitness</a> for variety.<br />
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When I'm FED UP WITH EVERYTHING and need to thrash out some anger or pent-up stress, I pull out my free weights, crank up my "Loud Noises" playlist (a mix of heavy metal, prog rock, punk, and screamy silliness that includes Rammstein, Lindemann, System of a Down, Green Day, The Mars Volta, The Distillers, and Lord of the Yum-Yum) and pound out reps until I've purged the demons.<br />
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When I'm recovering from an injury or feeling down (tired, achy, sad, crampy, or fragile), I search for a soothing or healing or whatever-I-need yoga tutorial. Ahhhhhh, that's better.<br />
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I'm not here to knock the benefits of joining a gym or taking an in-person class if that's a joy for you. (I have very much enjoyed taking exercise classes on occasion.) But I am here to demonstrate that buying fitness isn't necessary to stay fit throughout life. Fitness/health tracking devices and apps can stress people out more than they're worth, and they also run the risk of making you insufferably boring. Nobody wants to hear about your calories or your half-pound of weight loss or how many steps you took today. Sorry.<br />
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How do you<i> feel</i>, though? That's what really matters, and it's a more interesting topic of conversation, though you won't need to tell anyone--it will show. When you feel good all the way down to your bones and you have energy and strength and vitality, everyone can see it shining out from your proud posture and swingy walk and bright eyes and glowing skin. I know I feel spectacular after shaking out some 3/4 shimmies to Shakira while I get ready in the morning. It's fun to find your groove outside of the gym, whenever, wherever. <div><br /></div><div><span face="Lato, sans-serif" style="background-color: #ececec; color: #292929; font-size: x-large;">Jean Michelle Miernik is the author of </span><i style="background-color: #ececec; color: #292929; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/2021/02/books.html" style="background: transparent; color: #d67f3f; cursor: pointer; text-decoration-line: none;">Leirah and the Wild Man: A Tale of Obsession and Survival at the Edges of the Byzantine World</a></i><span face="Lato, sans-serif" style="background-color: #ececec; color: #292929; font-size: x-large;"> and </span><i style="background-color: #ececec; color: #292929; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/2021/04/the-grove-of-thorismud.html" style="background: transparent; color: #d67f3f; cursor: pointer; text-decoration-line: none;">The Grove of Thorismud: A Beauty, a Beast, a Slayer, and a Priest</a></i><span face="Lato, sans-serif" style="background-color: #ececec; color: #292929; font-size: x-large;">.</span></div></div>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-66511722368622198592022-02-17T11:09:00.001-08:002024-01-02T03:19:10.305-08:00Good Lighting Is Happiness<p><b></b></p><blockquote>If you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams, and you will always look lovely.</blockquote><p></p><p style="text-align: right;">– Roald Dahl <br /></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJT6sc1ZBSRA6h6Pfot8cnBst2y8DsMYfGYgT9gaCDQ0uVBeHfLw6Qt743xKjSR11oB8G1XcJqVrHTXtEPXvUefuYVzvZ4g1jK2VJTp65SIu50KwWr9vFhfe1a0a-BuG2zQhbtPsIaCqie/s1440/152714592_10100155307873980_9211858926173035088_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJT6sc1ZBSRA6h6Pfot8cnBst2y8DsMYfGYgT9gaCDQ0uVBeHfLw6Qt743xKjSR11oB8G1XcJqVrHTXtEPXvUefuYVzvZ4g1jK2VJTp65SIu50KwWr9vFhfe1a0a-BuG2zQhbtPsIaCqie/w640-h640/152714592_10100155307873980_9211858926173035088_o.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><p>In the photo above, Gretchen MurderMittens also demonstrates that if you have murderous thoughts, they will slice out of your face like claws, and you will always look fierce, even while loafing in the soft glow of fairy lights within a pastel child's bedroom.</p><p>Mood affects our perception of light--we appear to glow from within when we are happy, and the world looks brighter to us when we are energized--and mood and physical lighting both affect beauty, and <a href="https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/89053/7-ways-lighting-can-make-your-home-happier" target="_blank">beauty and lighting affect our moods</a>. All these factors swirl together synergistically. We feel better when we are surrounded by beauty and when we feel beautiful ourselves, and we and our surroundings look more beautiful in good lighting.<br /></p><p>I kept all of this in mind when <a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/2020/11/monday-room-of-her-own-pandemic-tween.html">I helped my preteen daughter choose a new paint color for her bedroom</a> last year: Oleander by Sherwin-Williams with a matte finish. It's a soft pink that reads as warm peach in summer and delicate pastel in winter. At every time of the day and the year, it flatters skin tones.<br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2cAVbqIVHkK8ssDLCVfqrYBFdKuSeXz5FB5uDBk5Zd56CD27DzQpo9D7jav29VQsw35OVeQOE2HTFnW4-GSjN0gWIxjjei7-SKszJSSCRbv_ZSv04OcN5XuKpfbtWc-pS6Lh4gW8-sANk/s1440/118556732_10100126667100320_1166554679654431873_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1440" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2cAVbqIVHkK8ssDLCVfqrYBFdKuSeXz5FB5uDBk5Zd56CD27DzQpo9D7jav29VQsw35OVeQOE2HTFnW4-GSjN0gWIxjjei7-SKszJSSCRbv_ZSv04OcN5XuKpfbtWc-pS6Lh4gW8-sANk/w640-h480/118556732_10100126667100320_1166554679654431873_o.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7MhjFj_Zau5QLdmqzIcwvgVBZM2hVl6VbYG5cmz4DgKyIEHxusN1u0zG3QplJawivoZZNfal5Q7rwKYPHSFa8rfdNljayjoNCzQXyHIv-pvU4dnXvXV-UZqC0BcFfA3xswy2qV2munUdY/s1440/135885798_10100147736921230_725274860122412366_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1440" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7MhjFj_Zau5QLdmqzIcwvgVBZM2hVl6VbYG5cmz4DgKyIEHxusN1u0zG3QplJawivoZZNfal5Q7rwKYPHSFa8rfdNljayjoNCzQXyHIv-pvU4dnXvXV-UZqC0BcFfA3xswy2qV2munUdY/w640-h480/135885798_10100147736921230_725274860122412366_o.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyUBFp4veW8p0I4aSr56JfQRN7rEdP3Ik-24CWz0jgFA0LSMCVdnsgAuGOmrvevij3Mt208bYwmksHfkjxRwZ5km6u1h6WfJhyTqy59w-6NIH1TkxCY3TNW7K5Htk_UXWpB0RGvr8bPVvw/s1440/151998189_10100154525656550_2735255217675276898_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1439" data-original-width="1440" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyUBFp4veW8p0I4aSr56JfQRN7rEdP3Ik-24CWz0jgFA0LSMCVdnsgAuGOmrvevij3Mt208bYwmksHfkjxRwZ5km6u1h6WfJhyTqy59w-6NIH1TkxCY3TNW7K5Htk_UXWpB0RGvr8bPVvw/w640-h640/151998189_10100154525656550_2735255217675276898_o.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><p>It's hard to photograph, but there is a gorgeous phenomenon each winter morning when the sun rises on a clear day: the colors of the sky outside the windows match the pink, violet, and sky blue color scheme in the bedroom exactly. This never occurred to us when we chose interior colors, so it came as a glorious surprise and got me thinking about colors in other rooms of the house that could also coordinate with the outdoor light and scenes through the windows.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5QUhu2H8xuthVES_OeOOar5XKfWEkdKG40ypMnI45YhaMgwI6Mm0fheJm4nnGjH-Z8XSV8lG2KqOuC2fBWcn_OaDE6WBToy4iyF41LdpsyJrIVjZIxWlc2FnegvSBx2w5Rbk2_0SK37li/s1440/153937156_10100155661026260_7571432834715940141_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5QUhu2H8xuthVES_OeOOar5XKfWEkdKG40ypMnI45YhaMgwI6Mm0fheJm4nnGjH-Z8XSV8lG2KqOuC2fBWcn_OaDE6WBToy4iyF41LdpsyJrIVjZIxWlc2FnegvSBx2w5Rbk2_0SK37li/w640-h640/153937156_10100155661026260_7571432834715940141_o.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p>In every kind of light, my daughter's bedroom walls cast a flattering glow on all who enter there. Everyone inside that room looks rosy and healthy, with smooth, glowing skin, so it's a joy to glance in the mirror in there--or turn on the camera for online school. The wall color doesn't just look pretty as a backdrop, it boosts my daughter's self-esteem as she gets ready for the day and while she has to stare at her own face during online group meetings.<br /></p><p>How we look in person is not always how we read on digital camera, so creating good lighting for real life in a room isn't always enough for the camera. Sometimes we need a brighter light source for digital and close visual tasks than we need to relax and converse face-to-face. Next to my daughter's school computer is a lamp with a blue shade that matches her desk (and the inside of her closet and the insides of her window frames--whimsical little color surprises!). But her desk lamp shade isn't blue only for aesthetic reasons. Bright, cool light promotes alertness and reduces eye strain for tasks like writing in a notebook. It also helps to illuminate her face more directly--brightly and coming from in front of her rather than above--so that her teacher and classmates can see her face clearly on camera.<br /></p><p>The other lamp, on my daughter's bedside table, has a warm-toned shade and a bulb just bright enough for bedtime reading. Gold-toned twinkle lights strewn across her headboard provide a warm, enveloping glow soft enough to encourage winding down at night.</p><p>During my daughter's school day, I work from home on the other side of our house, in a cozy little nook off the living room. I also use a mix of warm and white light sources depending on the time of day and what I need to do. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfLErf5VjvIyVdEhO9lrGI7D1cGIc4v1bV84edS1HCmPPhhQPDOSHiFUkC7KisykKeRP9b24sn4mF4fNxKz8pNu4X9Y5ILl3JqgSwHakrd_oGJQHzOPIWkUA_RPo_0YkCTP1v3jF4Hpdzd/s764/119672652_10100129219664960_6264862255619163395_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="764" data-original-width="764" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfLErf5VjvIyVdEhO9lrGI7D1cGIc4v1bV84edS1HCmPPhhQPDOSHiFUkC7KisykKeRP9b24sn4mF4fNxKz8pNu4X9Y5ILl3JqgSwHakrd_oGJQHzOPIWkUA_RPo_0YkCTP1v3jF4Hpdzd/w640-h640/119672652_10100129219664960_6264862255619163395_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p>While my desk nook has always felt snug and private and peaceful, like a library carrel, I found it to be a little too dark, causing eye strain, until I added big mirrors to reflect the natural light from the windows behind me and a bright, portable, neutral-white task light that I can place over my work or set on a shelf in front of me to brighten my face for Zoom meetings.<br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqexUCWhL3fJ_wHEzy0R3gSc_FW6d4_RWJHdiVy9mKGI9c_3oOh3eyLoRJCD1r8e4poRBnTUXSZPTBnjmP00rRrr0ccvoRpPvgCas_65bscHZDiLirsAhsqaNkdy6ntSqVqV7W_fApTdxI/s1280/WIN_20200325_09_41_56_Pro+%25282%2529.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqexUCWhL3fJ_wHEzy0R3gSc_FW6d4_RWJHdiVy9mKGI9c_3oOh3eyLoRJCD1r8e4poRBnTUXSZPTBnjmP00rRrr0ccvoRpPvgCas_65bscHZDiLirsAhsqaNkdy6ntSqVqV7W_fApTdxI/w640-h360/WIN_20200325_09_41_56_Pro+%25282%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><p>Good lighting is happiness! It can help us wake up, stay alert, be productive, relax, feel good about ourselves, enjoy human company, and even appreciate the natural beauty of the world outside our windows. In turn, a well-rested, energized, self-confident glow can make anyone appear more attractive in any light.</p><p>Or more fierce, if that's the goal.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM_-QmhkeF-ss_i6o-yFLo1seSFIAiCX0cMtq2W1PiBktP1-pRV0HgyC0tdUpb9BAO3YFA5CZkUfXA3dBhaFVUs3njyCE4uMiWgC3MiWft-cqrnAxKNik7Rr9YFvu4OsPrp8Nsl6KrYDXu/s2048/IMG_E5928.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM_-QmhkeF-ss_i6o-yFLo1seSFIAiCX0cMtq2W1PiBktP1-pRV0HgyC0tdUpb9BAO3YFA5CZkUfXA3dBhaFVUs3njyCE4uMiWgC3MiWft-cqrnAxKNik7Rr9YFvu4OsPrp8Nsl6KrYDXu/w480-h640/IMG_E5928.JPG" width="480" /></a></div><p>What a silhouette!<br /></p><p style="text-align: center;">📚</p><p>Jean Michelle Miernik is the author of <a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/"><i>Leirah and the Wild Man: A Tale of Obsession and Survival at the Edges of the Byzantine World</i> and <i>The Grove of Thorismud: A Beauty, a Beast, a Slayer, and a Priest</i></a>.</p>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-69819075642855505542022-02-17T10:59:00.000-08:002024-01-02T03:28:43.531-08:00Small But Sweet Bathroom Renovation<p>We have fixed, upgraded, and redecorated our little old bathroom! Now that the <a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/2021/09/feast-your-eyes-on-this-cozy-cabincore.html">kitchen</a> and main bathroom are both functional and personalized for our family, and what a difference it makes to our everyday life!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiU_ySixZ-myqH-6kRU4LF9_5DJ2qp2G1YmrKmWqHwW67wxdvZ7MtDCFoZ3RkUtYj_dBFcTCmPqkAfUdWtXxhvLIsjjIuizamTr9BIPUVVCV0hAFZVUO13zVA0Jx3kauaAg6krdPNydkPfK2YLq4twOZplF_Xp5SsCSlYMUUDyFUk9_4U6L-47GtlJb3g=s1440" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiU_ySixZ-myqH-6kRU4LF9_5DJ2qp2G1YmrKmWqHwW67wxdvZ7MtDCFoZ3RkUtYj_dBFcTCmPqkAfUdWtXxhvLIsjjIuizamTr9BIPUVVCV0hAFZVUO13zVA0Jx3kauaAg6krdPNydkPfK2YLq4twOZplF_Xp5SsCSlYMUUDyFUk9_4U6L-47GtlJb3g=w640-h640" width="640" /></a></div><p>For a tall person, it is such a relief to my back to have a higher bathroom vanity that allows me to wash my hands without bending over, and it feels luxurious to have a shower that rains down from well above the top of my head! We put up a taller mirror (an inexpensive antique) than the one that was there before and installed the new light fixture ("rescued" from our local Habitat ReStore) up close to the ceiling, making the room seem taller and bigger even though there is actually less space between the vanity top and ceiling.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiJfZIb8s7hcwr9UVGn8XTKZcWF09M_69K5sTnZKMCqD8gpPmQgc-M0v-VKUeGhQlMVTB7AzLTuhPuFydNPW7yk069DdWD6whpLfq6m5xViE53stMWBcBne5Vr09qLCrC-iVnuPxprnSZN/s1440/242822948_10100182992304160_5106905869520409084_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiJfZIb8s7hcwr9UVGn8XTKZcWF09M_69K5sTnZKMCqD8gpPmQgc-M0v-VKUeGhQlMVTB7AzLTuhPuFydNPW7yk069DdWD6whpLfq6m5xViE53stMWBcBne5Vr09qLCrC-iVnuPxprnSZN/w640-h640/242822948_10100182992304160_5106905869520409084_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><p>We saved loads of money by doing as much work ourselves as we could. We hauled the plumbing fixtures, including the toilet and a whole bathtub and shower surround, from the plumbing supply company in our ancient pickup truck and warehoused them in the garage while we demolished most of the old bathroom. We hired good plumbers to install the tub, shower surround, and vanity, which we purchased separately from a local lumber company. We didn't go with the cheapest materials and labor we could find, but we did get a great value for high quality materials, craftsmanship, and work meant to last.<br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDKeCcbCs1qTOtq8LMW4fYRtFdHwoXRNE946-iClElAELibGiEkamogrCE41ziDbkDfHiYfWu9q4D9uErzX7W9_zknr-v1Nr_b5bd5tN9RFbz6SocGix7XMBo4_ftpQW-s5KJm6aAHrpcc/s1440/242936559_10100182992284200_1730494040751768252_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDKeCcbCs1qTOtq8LMW4fYRtFdHwoXRNE946-iClElAELibGiEkamogrCE41ziDbkDfHiYfWu9q4D9uErzX7W9_zknr-v1Nr_b5bd5tN9RFbz6SocGix7XMBo4_ftpQW-s5KJm6aAHrpcc/w640-h640/242936559_10100182992284200_1730494040751768252_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><p>We bought a new toilet that flushes better and wastes less water, and we installed it ourselves. We salvaged the existing bead board and trim, scrubbed clean all the dirty white pieces, pulled out their rusty nails, painted them dark green, and reinstalled them. Instead of hanging curtains, I gave the lower window pane a privacy coat of washable white tempera paint, which my 10-year-old daughter is going to decorate with a leaf pattern. We will be able to wash off and repaint the window whenever we feel like changing it up.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLoDhhmHRE9zpoVZqDzn-0fazWfAZYMtqqDcTUi2s-_PokgB6Z85J8Z7f5pmkMchVh1OsEks8ayXC6c1_xqMoMmWgyBIg5AO1GvNmFIP_wcXMdqQINyhrd9ta9MyRxFsmUfk8CaR_UtXEL/s1245/243127924_10100182992289190_8753794388710653904_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1244" data-original-width="1245" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLoDhhmHRE9zpoVZqDzn-0fazWfAZYMtqqDcTUi2s-_PokgB6Z85J8Z7f5pmkMchVh1OsEks8ayXC6c1_xqMoMmWgyBIg5AO1GvNmFIP_wcXMdqQINyhrd9ta9MyRxFsmUfk8CaR_UtXEL/w640-h640/243127924_10100182992289190_8753794388710653904_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><p>We left the upper window clear to let in more natural light and to let us have a peek out into the front garden.</p><p>Somehow everyone who worked in the bathroom managed to successfully protect the 1960s stone tile floor, through demolition and installation of the tub and cabinetry, so that we only had to do a couple of minor repairs and scrub the grout clean to get the old floor shining like new.<br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiivbsC9UITjIlboOiEFLhsYdjrJ6SjoOCcYGkH8j3hjd2X9DMmCDIr_wD6WDVgV496zwiQJ-LK7HMdIxIGoJPXX4lFrpOnNi3aTy1-VB8Dme9jCUAwbkwtWYmOS4xTFmofofgXUFfkaNRj/s1440/243206555_10100182992279210_82129972645808807_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiivbsC9UITjIlboOiEFLhsYdjrJ6SjoOCcYGkH8j3hjd2X9DMmCDIr_wD6WDVgV496zwiQJ-LK7HMdIxIGoJPXX4lFrpOnNi3aTy1-VB8Dme9jCUAwbkwtWYmOS4xTFmofofgXUFfkaNRj/w640-h640/243206555_10100182992279210_82129972645808807_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><p>I divided my biggest Christmas cactus (a humidity-loving plant) and hung a piece of it up beside the window for a touch of that spa-like feel that live plants impart to a bathroom. <br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqAVcTSnIl7sZB9pEeYmsVPyiymyfcvMdTaW5_C78RYTDvBWLEie3DjyZhIp047rhrThFhUmPXbMCx5ULEIZbcn0dxvrCAMpRHaf7DClEcr9oNPgrt1wzST9X168i3fQgoCtemYe3iDdkT/s1440/243468984_10100182992274220_7786259693336886361_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqAVcTSnIl7sZB9pEeYmsVPyiymyfcvMdTaW5_C78RYTDvBWLEie3DjyZhIp047rhrThFhUmPXbMCx5ULEIZbcn0dxvrCAMpRHaf7DClEcr9oNPgrt1wzST9X168i3fQgoCtemYe3iDdkT/w640-h640/243468984_10100182992274220_7786259693336886361_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><p>I spent about three weeks installing drywall in a portion of the room that was stripped down to the studs and applying two-plus coats of Sherwin-Williams Emerald paint (in Angelic and Courtyard), which has stain-resisting and anti-microbial properties to help us keep the room clean and fresh for years to come. I stocked it with quick-drying, yet plush and luxurious towels that make everyday hygiene habits feel like a spa retreat.<br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmDaTuw6plNSmX6a7T-X_SDs5wKFMD2yUT9XDEqVuCCQ4EcBIWh198OhoL3Z4l-a_ro8uSgUFUbheUmvjUG0w_XdPayh89Mkf1TjtqDJiOCunR71Of10yND9I3eNbiZSulXu2C1B6FHHpi/s1440/243487716_10100182992314140_6011324022525578089_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmDaTuw6plNSmX6a7T-X_SDs5wKFMD2yUT9XDEqVuCCQ4EcBIWh198OhoL3Z4l-a_ro8uSgUFUbheUmvjUG0w_XdPayh89Mkf1TjtqDJiOCunR71Of10yND9I3eNbiZSulXu2C1B6FHHpi/w640-h640/243487716_10100182992314140_6011324022525578089_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><p>I had my daughter pick out a shower curtain from Target's website, and she chose a vine pattern that looks just lovely in our little pink and green bathroom. We hung a double, curved shower curtain rod that keeps the liner and curtain separated for quicker drying and makes the shower feel like "a fancy hotel" inside, as my husband put it.<br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCGf0rOeYCNBp5KxYIEEgJSgEgu5nak6Rf9iyHpfwALQlCe4zvfN2h60KOG4nsRhvveQcYuKkWyjUZ_ov-16tfPWzS7Ovnz7bOKacX8PJImSlWajLrrkyHCAkx8ZD5-rCxq4sgtri9sCuK/s1440/243790091_10100182992269230_8286184256605975790_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCGf0rOeYCNBp5KxYIEEgJSgEgu5nak6Rf9iyHpfwALQlCe4zvfN2h60KOG4nsRhvveQcYuKkWyjUZ_ov-16tfPWzS7Ovnz7bOKacX8PJImSlWajLrrkyHCAkx8ZD5-rCxq4sgtri9sCuK/w640-h640/243790091_10100182992269230_8286184256605975790_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><p>We splurged on "champagne brass" fixtures for the shower, tub, and sink sourced through a supplier that works with our plumber and sells lines of products a step above what you can buy at a big box store.<br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB2ZrlF-y1lPYmjFMg1ut2Vh9OGyYizTF8NbXNi9mF02_vKmY48hFm5a2JaqTbNnI0RCaQs2EBsVV1bwI_UWOg6hlfF-58q1t6u2eEe1I0hL0L26SnnDosFur5yHva2RZ5WItpVwzF6gK1/s1440/244167421_10100182992299170_5941936090347137699_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB2ZrlF-y1lPYmjFMg1ut2Vh9OGyYizTF8NbXNi9mF02_vKmY48hFm5a2JaqTbNnI0RCaQs2EBsVV1bwI_UWOg6hlfF-58q1t6u2eEe1I0hL0L26SnnDosFur5yHva2RZ5WItpVwzF6gK1/w640-h640/244167421_10100182992299170_5941936090347137699_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><p>There are still a few last details to complete (did you spot the missing outlet cover? whoops!), but our new bathroom is now functional! It feels, looks, and smells so good to take a shower in here. </p><p>I am very happy with how it has all turned out, especially the warm and colorful yet serene palette, the mix of old and new pretty things, and the easy-to-clean, durable functionality of it all. </p><p>My daughter said, "When you live in a nice house, it makes you want to take better care of yourself." No joke, she has started eating more vegetables, doing more chores, and brushing her hair more often, and she says it's because of how the house makes her feel.</p><p>I love it! </p><p>You can see more best-value-minded home renovation adventures and other snapshots of my family trying to squeeze the best values out of life in general <a href="https://www.instagram.com/msamiernika/">on Instagram</a>.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #990000;"><i>Jean Michelle Miernik is the author of <a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/">two </a></i><i><a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/">great floral bath witch bathtub reading novels</a>.<br /></i></span></span></p>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-62815063477266317392022-02-17T10:49:00.001-08:002024-01-02T03:37:38.272-08:00Budget Bride Spring Wedding Roundup: How to Throw an Authentically Joyful Celebration and Launch a Happy Marriage<p>It's boom time for planning post-pandemic weddings! Below are links to all ten posts in my Budget Bride series, a collection of throwback tips from my own wedding that took place in a simpler time, before Instagram filtered and squared off our dreams--before aesthetic perfectionism distracted us from the gorgeously multi-sensory experiences that can only be referenced in, not totally captured by, photographs--and way before Covid put our lives on hold. The Budget Bride series hints at how to recapture that all-consuming joy of the Before Times while avoiding many unnecessary wedding costs and logistical hassles. Even an aesthetically maximalist wedding can be done on a minimalist budget.<br /></p><p>My wedding was a meaningful day to remember, and it was also just plain, down-to-earth fun. Remember when weddings were fun? Remember when we looked forward to them instead of dreading all the fussy obligations? Many years later, not only is my marriage strong and happy, but our friends and family still look back on our wedding as one of the best parties they've ever attended. I still haven't made a proper photo book of the day (maybe I'll finally get around to it for our 15th wedding anniversary next year), but the night lives on in legend and grass stains and in the hearts and minds of all who were there to co-create the magic.<br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBKPGl_EeOKoeW8LuaG-YQeXfh48IXzZ-DhZAaq_WnoHWsiEFB6zA-EQT-f3AELDpDLntb2mte03JMMaBhfkGSRaVFzbqMCJ3_GbwUF8DzgnjjoyYrp8048kBY3lOQXNXkO8-1tzrIkvTE/s600/_s4v8987.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="397" data-original-width="600" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBKPGl_EeOKoeW8LuaG-YQeXfh48IXzZ-DhZAaq_WnoHWsiEFB6zA-EQT-f3AELDpDLntb2mte03JMMaBhfkGSRaVFzbqMCJ3_GbwUF8DzgnjjoyYrp8048kBY3lOQXNXkO8-1tzrIkvTE/w640-h424/_s4v8987.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><p>My Budget Bride posts are not about specific products or services that you can buy. They aren't about the visual styles I used, which are now vintage. My posts are designed to spark your own, personal, of-this-moment ideas and to help you make clear, confident decisions among the choices available to you--at any budget. Use them to plan a wedding that celebrates and blesses and empowers the union between you and your beloved and the joyful start of your shared life together.</p><p>Below is a roundup of the whole series for old-school wedding wisdom, new inspirations, borrowed experience, and true-blue advice. Happy planning!<br /></p><h1 style="text-align: left;">The Magic Nutshell's Budget Bride Series</h1><ol style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/2021/01/budget-bride-i-put-your-friends-and.html">Put Your Friends and Family to Work</a></li><li><a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/2021/01/budget-bride-ii-dress-for-mess.html">Dress for a Mess</a></li><li><a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/2021/01/budget-bride-iii-location-location.html">Choose a Location</a></li><li><a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/2021/01/budget-bride-iv-hospitality.html">Provide Slumber Party-Style Hospitality</a></li><li><a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/2021/02/budget-bride-v-eat-drink-and-be-merry.html">Eat, Drink, and Be Merry</a></li><li><a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/2021/02/budget-bride-vi-party-like-immigrant.html">Party Like an Immigrant</a></li><li><a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/2021/02/budget-bride-vii-magic-words.html">Say the Magic Words</a></li><li><a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/2021/02/budget-bride-viii-its-that-kind-of-party.html">Let the Good Times All Roll Out</a></li><li><a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/2021/03/budget-bride-ix-domo-arigato-mr-roboto.html">Manage Your Dance Floor</a></li><li><a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/2021/03/budget-bride-x-honeymoon.html">Get On with Your Honeymoon</a><br /></li></ol><div><p style="text-align: center;">📚</p><p>Jean Michelle Miernik is the author of <a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/"><i>Leirah and the Wild Man: A Tale of Obsession and Survival at the Edges of the Byzantine World</i> and <i>The Grove of Thorismud: A Beauty, a Beast, a Slayer, and a Priest</i></a>.</p></div>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-13624299441348220882022-02-17T09:06:00.004-08:002022-02-17T09:06:51.166-08:00The Penance Roses Are Fading<p>The winter thaws are getting warmer and wetter as spring approaches! This year the season feels more hopeful than the past two. But the process of thawing and reawakening, though exciting, can also be painful. I explored this concept through the character of Gustav the Beast King in <i>The Grove of Thorismud</i>.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh4nRXsmIiLk1HMcs-iqhJyUwhOFtaq46SIbkNynBZoNN-dU8nbmldtM7f_GcTfxpCl8Tr6fhmrhg2YZeTt5t5RjTDclff8ovQ-YCCesOQ8qB1l3ZXTBCgvZp_RM6zYKByJZ7_AYpBAh9-OK1UFX00OEczFvIPRDuiG3rqD7oddr9P0Td-sI5kMNUJOjQ=s1920" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1920" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh4nRXsmIiLk1HMcs-iqhJyUwhOFtaq46SIbkNynBZoNN-dU8nbmldtM7f_GcTfxpCl8Tr6fhmrhg2YZeTt5t5RjTDclff8ovQ-YCCesOQ8qB1l3ZXTBCgvZp_RM6zYKByJZ7_AYpBAh9-OK1UFX00OEczFvIPRDuiG3rqD7oddr9P0Td-sI5kMNUJOjQ=w640-h480" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><blockquote><p>His eyes took comfort in the dark petals of his mother's winter-blooming penance roses laid open across the snow. He could almost remember her in the winter.</p><p>But in this late stage of the season, the contrary blossoms had begun to fade. How Gustav hated the first thaw of spring! The snow rotted; the purity of ice and frost receded into the black earth. The dry bones of last year's grasses and branches rattled as the hills awakened. The sun called the dead to life and unburied the wet loam of last fall's leaves. The brown time ripened to muddy, bloodthirsty red. Predators crept from their dens, seeking kills to break the winter's fast.</p><p>While the animals of the forest mated in ecstasy and bore their young in agony, the people in their hovels beyond the palace grounds would smear blood over their doorways to protect the firstborn from the Angel of Death. The spring's loveliness, like a newborn child's, would not settle in for many long weeks.</p><p>As the Feast of Arising drew near, pious Lora would wish to slaughter the last of the lambs, pull too many eggs from the chickens' nests, and make the blood sacrifices her parents had taught her before they vanished. </p><p>And soon after that, the Hunger-Apple blossoms would open on the cursed hillside of the dragon, luring prey toward the insatiable monster with their sultry sweetness, tempting the innocent children's legs to betray them.</p><p>From the courtyard, Gustav could hear and smell all that went on outside and inside, the quickening of the wilderness and the rituals of the holy, and as a thing neither wild nor human, he could experience none of it for himself.</p></blockquote><p></p><p>But don't worry about Gustav; spoiler: a hot warrior woman is on her way to slay and put him out of his misery.</p><p>For a free sample of the 5 1/2 chapters leading up to this moment in <i>The Grove of Thorismud</i>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Grove-Thorismud-Beauty-Slayer-Priest-ebook/dp/B09PMRY1GG/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1643206802&sr=1-1">"Look Inside" the Kindle version</a>.</p>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-91376758217136312182022-02-17T03:06:00.003-08:002024-01-02T03:42:53.157-08:00"A Perfect Winter Book" for a Steal Online<i><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhtg3BQjn17jpJosawUY0obN4wYglMRDNK4KAj8-KSx7oeagk6lCKoRfvOpq8DGGDWNxv5nGAnk99GBIlxTcXYnTEu34Wyya-CPvhOcNiQtGsqy1IHLUdCEoNEHabY_-cfOSTCiUrtp8X1TmvWvlhmkr6jGryvOUoSPnjSUnxo4YsTJEpfpjj_uPCDHBA=s418" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="418" data-original-width="311" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhtg3BQjn17jpJosawUY0obN4wYglMRDNK4KAj8-KSx7oeagk6lCKoRfvOpq8DGGDWNxv5nGAnk99GBIlxTcXYnTEu34Wyya-CPvhOcNiQtGsqy1IHLUdCEoNEHabY_-cfOSTCiUrtp8X1TmvWvlhmkr6jGryvOUoSPnjSUnxo4YsTJEpfpjj_uPCDHBA=s320" width="238" /></a></div>Leirah and the Wild Man </i>takes readers on a unique adventure through a lost world along the 11th century Danube River, from the Black Forest to the Black Sea and into Constantinople, seat of the Byzantine Empire.<div><br /></div><div>It's a dark, twisty coming-of-age tale rooted in deeply researched, real history that loosely references the OG, not-so-friendly version of Robin Hood; Peter Pan; and fairy tales and folklore of ancient to medieval Eurasia, from Scandinavia to Tales from Grimm to Slavic traditions and beyond.<br /><div><br /></div><div>The reader who snapped this cozy campfire pic wrote,</div><div><span face=""Amazon Ember", Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #0f1111; font-size: 14px;"><blockquote>I particularly loved having front row seats to watch the swirling together of the stories and religions of this very busy melting pot between East and West. The main characters’ backgrounds and their lives lived on the fringe make them privy to the stories and lives of others’ on the fringe at the time, like rescued slaves, prostitutes, thieves and, wanderers. The result is an exciting story of coming of age for a young woman in a turbulent world. The characters and the landscape come to life vividly and the plot never really slows down, making it a perfect winter book to get lost in.</blockquote></span></div><div><span face=""Amazon Ember", Arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #0f1111; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></div><div><i>Leirah</i> is also available in even more affordable ebook formats, including Kindle. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Leirah-Wild-Man-Obsession-Byzantine/dp/1087910269/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1645093313&sr=1-1">"Look Inside" to read a free sample</a> as well as the full reader review excerpted above. </div><div><br /></div><div>If you would rather support your favorite local indie book shop with your purchase, <a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/2021/02/books.html">you can order <i>Leirah and the Wild Man</i></a> that way too! <a href="https://bookshop.org/lists/fairies-folks-monsters-muses?">Using my Bookshop link</a> is the best way to support both local shops (with an online purchase) and me as the author.
</div></div>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-74508550513734453122022-02-12T04:17:00.000-08:002024-01-02T03:56:52.241-08:00Beastly Books for the Hunger Moon<p>Fairy tale retellings are hot again! Readers who crave the meat and blood of old-school pagan poetry, myth, legend, and folklore have options far removed from Disney cartoons or even the repressed narratives sold to bourgeoise Victorian dads by the Brothers Grimm. From Imbolc to Lupercalia to Valentine's Day to the Hunger Moon, the month of February calls us to awaken, remember, and sink our claws into the thawing soil of our winter dens, where ancient roots branch and coil and spread and begin to thirst around our scattered dreams.</p><p>In February, the natural light streams through our windows noticeably brighter and stronger, and on sunny days the birds already sing in search of mates. Curling up on the couch with a thick blanket and a thicker book still feels good and cozy, but everything is starting to feel livelier again too.</p><p>The light growing toward spring feels infused with hope, meaning, and the reawakening of desires to live more fully and viscerally again. This year's <a href="https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/54899/hunger-moon" target="_blank">Hunger Moon</a> arrives in the dead center of the month to unsettle our slumber and call us to its quiet restlessness. What better time than this to read a juicy novel about primal desires?</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh5YeIL5ziTgfVhH5U3Ji3IuC--bgko2EpSYfe0ubUtggdj8lf1X246i9dff2wjEP8rZwUW_FHz6SToOws1-wlgKojo0GHWihyh4gTK1n1R4qFZvy05KcETqa8FzCaU1dGhIhitambaresxJqIgGz9G-GwqIZoV6o1cDhNt7pKlVXkp9nfy8syzddGKAQ=s1440" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh5YeIL5ziTgfVhH5U3Ji3IuC--bgko2EpSYfe0ubUtggdj8lf1X246i9dff2wjEP8rZwUW_FHz6SToOws1-wlgKojo0GHWihyh4gTK1n1R4qFZvy05KcETqa8FzCaU1dGhIhitambaresxJqIgGz9G-GwqIZoV6o1cDhNt7pKlVXkp9nfy8syzddGKAQ=w640-h640" width="640" /></a></div><p>I wrote <a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/"><i>Leirah and the Wild Man</i> and <i>The Grove of Thorismud</i></a> slowly, taking many years to research international mythology, history, folklore, literary tradition, sacred texts, archaeology, and sociology. Everything is cyclical and comes back, especially classic stories, so I took my time writing these novels and waited for what felt like just the right time to release them. These stories, like many old folk and fairy tales, are about human desires, appetites, hungers.</p><p>One of my most valuable resources was <a href="https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-original-folk-and-fairy-tales-of-the-brothers-grimm-jacob-grimm/8970287?aid=78758&ean=9780691160597&listref=fairies-folks-monsters-muses" target="_blank"><i>The Original Folk and Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm</i>, edited by Jack Zipes</a>, including the Grimm Brothers' original field notes translated into English for the first time. This text unlocked a host of missing links between the canon of familiar Western fairy tales (mainly as transmitted through Disney adaptations) and the wilder, more chaotic and dangerous collections of stories I'd read from Slavic, Asian, African, Native American, and Arctic traditions. I was delighted to find a rich vein of narratives as exciting and visceral as any that exist outside of the currently repressed, sanitized, and tidily moralized Western pop culture dominant canon. I feel like now is the time for awakening in more ways than one, a time to draw from forgotten histories and narratives and dig up what has been buried. It's spring, it's (maybe for real now?) the end of a long pandemic, it's a time of cultural and personal shifts in humans' relationships to ourselves and to our natural world.</p><p>The raw stories the Grimms harvested directly from the mouths of oral storytellers flow organically from the older folk and fairy tales, myths, and legends I have read, from the Greco-Roman Empires through medieval France and Italy and all the way into Persia, where Rapunzel's original name was Rudaba in the Shahnameh, and her hair was raven black. They throb with emotions ranging from abject horror to heartbreaking tenderness, and their imagery ranges from awe-inspiring to hilarious, with such long and rambling forays into absurdity that some of the narratives feel more like an episode of <i>Adventure Time</i> than a Disney production. They are fragmented, irregular, mixed up with and spun off from each other, and clearly related to tales from faraway cultures and periods of time. Almost every story has <a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/2015/04/crack-nutshell-enter-lime-tree.html">a gender-bent twin</a>, in Norse or Slavic traditions if not within the same language tradition. Gender roles are flexible; Christian and pagan mythologies are jumbled uneasily together; half of the soldiers who make a bet with Satan come out on top; characters of both sexes express and act upon sexual desires; marriages don't always end happily ever after, and sometimes they're only the beginning of the story; biological parents abuse, neglect, and murder their own children without bothering to frame a made-up evil stepmother; parents and romantic partners and siblings and friends go to the absolute ends of the earth and the limits of human pain to save the ones they love; family members fight viciously but then make up; fools are redeemed and doomed in turns; the landscape is populated by forgotten mythic creatures such as murderous unicorns that must be slain and hermaphroditic giants that produce magic breastmilk; animal transformation curses are broken not with kisses but with mercy killings and long vows of silence. There is a story with a steampunk robot bull in it, for Zipes' sake. A spell makes people's noses grow so long they get tangled up in forests and have to be chopped up into hot dog-length pieces for disposal. A princess famous for having no lice in her hair keeps a louse as a pet, feeds it until it grows to the size of a dog, and has it skinned to make a jacket. To a deep scholar of fairy tales and folklore, most modern "plot twists" on familiar tales are dull in comparison to the feral old variants that have been suppressed and discarded not so long ago.</p><p>Before capitalism and globalism standardized and shrink-wrapped fairy tales, a good story was like a sexy and mysterious traveler--or, more accurately, a line of descendants in a biological family or cultural tradition.</p><p><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Lora; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"></span></span></p><blockquote><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Lora; text-align: center;">Theories about world literature, of which fairy tale is a fundamental part, emphasize the porousness of borders, geographical and linguistic: no frontier can keep a good story from roaming. It will travel, and travel far, and travel back again in a different guise, a changed mood, and, </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Lora; text-align: center;">above all, a new meaning.</span></span></blockquote><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Lora; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">- Dame Marina Warner</span></span><p></p><p>So when I set about to write my own fairy tale-based novels, I dug deep into the fascinating ancestries of the stories I grew up with, which contain wonders more incredible than anything I could come up with on my own, if I had based them on nothing but the anemic pop cultural products sold as "fairy tales" to the 20th century American consumer. </p><p>To be fair, I recognize that Disney and Pixar films are beautiful and artful in their way. They add a gloss and theatricality to raw stories that can be powerful and moving. Also, some of what is "bad" or hokey or sentimental or stupid about the way fairy tales have been reimagined in Western pop culture are pretty fascinating under examination. Sometimes misunderstandings and intentional rewrites are interesting to take apart, so I layered some of those cheesy tropes snarkily into my novels to break up the high drama with humor--in line with storytelling traditions going all the way back to 2nd century Roman philosopher Apuleius making fun of rape culture in Roman mythology in his framing of the Cupid and Psyche myth (a narrative ancestor of our familiar Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, and maybe even Baby Jesus Christmas stories).</p><p>My novels are consciously influenced by sources from the ancient to the medieval to fiction that was written or popularized in the Victorian "golden age" of fantastical books--Robin Hood, Peter Pan, gothic romances, and the commercially successful edits of tales by the Brothers Grimm. My creations aren't radical in a political sense as much as an aesthetic one. Instead of trying to put a contemporary spin on things, I rooted around for relevant forgotten primal threads to bring back. The material is too deep and complex for me to feel any sense of logical mastery over, so I felt my way through the darkness and collected and combined folkloric symbols intuitively rather than trying to craft a timely message. I felt it through thoroughly, trying not to overthink along the way. And I left most of the treasures I found behind, because alas, a psychedelic trip of a dirty virgin fairy tale can't easily be spun into a plot-rich, novel-length literary form.</p><p>I absolutely read the raw Grimms' tales out loud to my preschooler as bedtime stories, though! I edited the text for child-appropriateness as lightly as possible, but I admit that I did some of that--like I said at the beginning of this post, not all of these stories were ever meant for children's ears! At least, not before the concept of children's innocence took root.</p><p>Throughout my daughter's young childhood, when I did the bulk of my research and writing, I felt a strong pull to <a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/2018/12/be-bestial-mantra-for-2019.html">be bestial</a>, compelled by my screaming hormones and guts and heart through the monstrous and magical transformational processes of pregnancy and childbirth and nursing and mothering while immersed deeply in primal human fantasies. </p><p>The novels that ended up coming to light through me are romantic, sensual, sad, and funny. They're exciting and visceral and smart and passionate. They illuminate unbounded human desires, from the wholesome and life-affirming to the sick and depraved and every shade in between. As Hozier sang on the radio sometimes while I wrote, "This is hungry work."</p><p>My novels don't provide any tidy answers to the big philosophical or moral questions because the truth, as I believe in it to the marrow of my bones, is that there aren't any. And yet, to live we must love and rage and fight and want and seek to identify and to pursue the desires inside of us that create and give life and to identify and overcome the desires that bait us to our doom. No matter how advanced our technologies or how comfortable the day-to-day routines of our modern lives, each of us must face the primal wilderness of learning how to trust--whom to seek out and whom to avoid, which of our own impulses to follow and which to fight--and when to have faith when we cannot know. We must decide what to destroy, what to create, what to exhume, and what to let go. No one can do it all for us, and we can't do it alone either. If there is a whole truth out there, like the face of God, not one of us can behold it all by ourselves.</p><p>The titular Grove of Thorismud in my latest novel is an overgrown orchard of apple trees rising from the ashes of a sad, sexy dead man whose remains fertilize the soil with unquenchable desire. The forbidden fruits of the Grove, the Hunger-Apples, produce an irresistible scent and a taste that can never satisfy but only sharpen the arrow of lust.</p><p>If you're one of those people feeling the draw of the Hunger Moon this month... Take a walk on the wild side--in the form of a safely stimulating fantasy. Get beastly through the smart, civilized medium of literary fiction. Give it a read. I think you'll like it. <a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/">Visit my author website</a> for links to order an ebook or hardcover edition.</p><p style="text-align: center;">〰〰〰</p><p><i><a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/">Jean Michelle Miernik</a> is the author of </i>Leirah and the Wild Man: A Tale of Obsession and Betrayal at the Edges of the Byzantine World<i> and </i>The Grove of Thorismud: A Beauty, a Beast, a Slayer, and a Priest<i>. Both books are available in hardcover and ebook editions through most booksellers.</i></p>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-21431756719850658622022-02-05T06:08:00.002-08:002024-01-02T04:02:52.673-08:00Sweet 16 Years Married to My Alpha Muse<p>My husband and I are strange people with a rare sort of marriage, one that hides most of the time behind a veneer of banality. But for people like us with <a href="https://www.davidsongifted.org/gifted-blog/dabrowskis-theory-and-existential-depression-in-gifted-children-and-adults/" target="_blank">intense emotional and mental health challenges</a>, boring is a sweet victory. We have known each other through decades of high-school-enemies-to-friends drama, many years of monogamous pair bonding starting my senior year of college, and 16 years of legal marriage. This spring, we'll celebrate our 15th formal wedding anniversary. Every Groundhog Day, we celebrate our elopement "tacoversary," usually with delicious food truck takeout, because we went out for tacos directly after our clandestine appointment at the courthouse in 2006. Why did we have to elope in secret? Because I needed dental insurance immediately, but we both come from big, blustery Catholic families that were still, at the time, zealous about their spiritual and epistemological supremacy. We feared that they would boycott the "fake" wedding that we needed time to save and plan for, but which would have to demonstrate the separation of church and state, which is normal in places like Europe but heresy in deeply superstitious America. So we used the tactics our families raised us with, lies of omission "for your own good," and lured them into <a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/2021/05/budget-bride-spring-wedding-roundup-how.html">an ambush ceremony of Pablo Neruda poetry, comedic throat singing, and flamboyant disco dancing.</a> In Borat voice: "Success!" Everybody had fun, whether they intended to or not. And almost 15 years later, our wedding provides us with a valuable memory of how, sometimes, we can use our unusual minds to pull off something unexpectedly great.</p><p>Later on, our marriage gave life to a kid who became our favorite person in the whole world. And my main man served as the ultimate muse and alpha reader for me to accomplish my dream of writing good old-fashioned coming-of-age historical adventure novels. </p><p>We help each other to survive <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-emotional-intensity/202008/gifted-adult-therapy-the-wounds-being-too-intense" target="_blank">the anxiety and other serious mental health issues that afflict "gifted" people</a> like us. We support each other in striving to become, and to be, and to raise, the kinds of people who can be happy being who we are and doing what we love, trusting in ourselves when we can't always trust the perceptions or opinions of those around us. We understand each other's struggles with holding ourselves and others to unrealistic standards, and we share the pain of constantly feeling misunderstood by most other people. We are similar enough to empathize with each other's issues, but we are different enough to contribute much-needed strengths to each another and to challenge each other in healthy ways.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh4_qOcHeveqo06GVO_pyu6A9jakBOdTzmqMSZK6WNpA40qtptc5ep9gpL2wY3rwvHxVOiBpHK_dF2j_gmBSmmF3Nlx2ngGfq2EzJh7ykXciZRbiiObljzRct01Er-EKKbY-c7nHjlMm4ei77L6skszv97yGzd1jex9Z3RJJF1rSiDdRIrKOIQdL965Og=s1439" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1439" data-original-width="1438" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh4_qOcHeveqo06GVO_pyu6A9jakBOdTzmqMSZK6WNpA40qtptc5ep9gpL2wY3rwvHxVOiBpHK_dF2j_gmBSmmF3Nlx2ngGfq2EzJh7ykXciZRbiiObljzRct01Er-EKKbY-c7nHjlMm4ei77L6skszv97yGzd1jex9Z3RJJF1rSiDdRIrKOIQdL965Og=w640-h640" width="640" /></a></div><div><br /></div>In short, we keep each other human and as sane and functional as we can be. Through sharing an intimate life together, we minimize each other's suffering while multiplying our joys. <div><br /></div><div>We are not happy all of the time, of course. In real life, like in OG fairy tales before the Grimm Brothers' edits and Disney's total rewrites, there is no such thing as a simple happily-ever-after. We are not immune from suffering life's regular and random misfortunes. Just this weekend, our mailbox was destroyed by a hit-and-run, and we discovered a potentially expensive plumbing leak in the basement. Meanwhile, we have been trying all through the pandemic to get my husband the trauma therapy and sleep study he needs to address his worsening chronic insomnia, and I am making progress in treating my own health conditions.</div><div><br /></div><div>For better or worse, we're in it together, all the mess and mayhem of being these particular humans in this particular time with its particular sorrows and joys. Our sharing is my life's greatest sweetness. I wish the same for everyone, that no matter what you've been through or what you suffer in your day-to-day life, you find someone--whether a romantic partner or a platonic friend--who reflects your joys brightly enough to make it all worthwhile.</div><div><br /></div><div><p style="text-align: center;">📚</p><p>Jean Michelle Miernik is the author of <a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/"><i>Leirah and the Wild Man: A Tale of Obsession and Survival at the Edges of the Byzantine World</i> and <i>The Grove of Thorismud: A Beauty, a Beast, a Slayer, and a Priest</i></a>.</p></div>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-55542151544699829622022-01-29T03:55:00.006-08:002024-01-02T04:04:48.609-08:00THE GROVE OF THORISMUD: A BEAUTY, A BEAST, A SLAYER, AND A PRIEST<p><i>The Grove of Thorismud</i> is on sale now, in hardcover and ebook formats! Once again, both of my books are in stock at select locations such as the wonderful <a href="https://www.everybodyreadsbooks.com/" target="_blank">Everybody Reads</a> independent bookstore in Lansing, Michigan. If you are looking for an excuse to pop into a bookstore this winter, you can visit any gorgeous little indie shop or major bookseller in nearly any English-speaking country and ask them to order you a copy.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi1G9VNKmUjiKNfTF3rn3X7QHWU9B5EI0mt4a__H105mh85_09fxYvf13cTxyVfKGXnjzCT0ldBxoqii9ntGL_EAkrv-csKPVISH4-AHYZSCc892XQOUuDjhrH-F5akpCZtO-_bG0F9bs0rQFt1jdRuUUA7u5bKGOeZOpYshFAKCySDrFK0G9eB0xvSFA=s1360" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1360" data-original-width="855" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi1G9VNKmUjiKNfTF3rn3X7QHWU9B5EI0mt4a__H105mh85_09fxYvf13cTxyVfKGXnjzCT0ldBxoqii9ntGL_EAkrv-csKPVISH4-AHYZSCc892XQOUuDjhrH-F5akpCZtO-_bG0F9bs0rQFt1jdRuUUA7u5bKGOeZOpYshFAKCySDrFK0G9eB0xvSFA=s320" width="201" /></a></div><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhwHo5GbSn3iU6pqnmZjycXd_LYvHM_b2DsXDtXHGdI5pGIr5A4N-0ALTuD9UwEotfhWrwapTnMIK2S1I0e7x9loExcJ0kcDluvmVcwH0Y1qez_Q2cPnFaqyQwb_Mng1wIQWHd-zCQTg22mMI5s7OEOEfjjDtjKB9slu53nWTCx2UaJ-kHiFr2jNKPJDw=s1360" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1360" data-original-width="855" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhwHo5GbSn3iU6pqnmZjycXd_LYvHM_b2DsXDtXHGdI5pGIr5A4N-0ALTuD9UwEotfhWrwapTnMIK2S1I0e7x9loExcJ0kcDluvmVcwH0Y1qez_Q2cPnFaqyQwb_Mng1wIQWHd-zCQTg22mMI5s7OEOEfjjDtjKB9slu53nWTCx2UaJ-kHiFr2jNKPJDw=s320" width="201" /></a></p><p>Don't want to leave the house? I feel you. <a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/">Visit my author website</a> for ways to order a hardcover or ebook online. </p><p><i>The Grove of Thorismud </i>is an earthy, scandalous fairy tale mashup for adults that pits the dynasties of "Sleeping Beauty" and "Beauty and the Beast" against each other for rule of the same repeatedly-cursed kingdom overrun with superstition, disease, and civil discord that has escalated into cannibalism. Although this novel was written in the Before Times, it hilariously captures the 2020s zeitgeist. All social commentary is the result of twisted fate and my cynical sense of humor, so it won't hit too close to home. The tale offers good old-fashioned escapism into a rich fantasy world bursting with human drama and down-and-dirty fun. </p><p></p><blockquote>Jean Michelle Miernik is one of the most beautiful, evocative writers I've ever had the pleasure of reading. Her work is lyrical, mythical, and sometimes delightfully strange, with a sly, deft sense of humor that catches you off guard in the best possible way.</blockquote><p></p><p>-<a href="https://www.christinamitchellbooks.com/" target="_blank">Christina Mitchell, award-winning author of <i>How to Stay</i></a></p><div style="font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgaM82mRH8-b7R7fjiumzwEsUt-zDgQNrGJHxs713lrIHIAsKZwnAZweO9ooUTURkfhIzGsZ5Ml6PczyRRJ0j4BIKV6sCgEwD_0zqPsasIqAA7bc3Tv1wdxkuWmoJHi7WiypkWD49na6281VegBJBD2U3JML5NiRwxkCp-r1AS1BSVINFxwAhyJn1Z6Qw=s474" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="473" data-original-width="474" height="399" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgaM82mRH8-b7R7fjiumzwEsUt-zDgQNrGJHxs713lrIHIAsKZwnAZweO9ooUTURkfhIzGsZ5Ml6PczyRRJ0j4BIKV6sCgEwD_0zqPsasIqAA7bc3Tv1wdxkuWmoJHi7WiypkWD49na6281VegBJBD2U3JML5NiRwxkCp-r1AS1BSVINFxwAhyJn1Z6Qw=w400-h399" width="400" /></a></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: #fff2cc; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 16px;"><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-weight: bold; text-align: left; text-decoration-line: none;"><b>Princess Rosemary tries to be good, but her suppressed desires for sleep, food, sex, and blood snap like an outgrown garter and set off a curse—or is it a blessing?—that grants her a hundred years of uninterrupted sleep.</b></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-weight: bold; text-align: left; text-decoration-line: none;"><b>A handsome rescuer awakens her and tries to restore her dynasty, but a nomadic wolf huntress beats him to the throne by freeing the most recently cursed royal, King Gustav, from transformation into a beast.</b></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-weight: bold; text-align: left; text-decoration-line: none;"><b>Meanwhile, the land has been taken over by witches and eaters of human flesh.</b></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-weight: bold; text-align: left; text-decoration-line: none;"><b>All Rosemary and Gustav want to do is stay inside and love their seductive rescuers, but their spouses form a dangerous rivalry. When Rosemary's husband takes out his frustrations on her, he drives her to seek comfort in the hospitable home—and unusual marriage—of King Gustav.</b></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-weight: bold; text-align: left; text-decoration-line: none;"><b>Treasonous plots and secret alliances threaten the fragile new stability of the kingdom, and so does the earthy magic of the land itself.</b></p></span></div>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-19741391272140069022022-01-22T03:47:00.009-08:002024-01-02T04:13:01.408-08:00BELLE of the Metaverse and Other Tales<p>Last month, I visited a movie theater for the first time in two years and joked that it reminded me of Disney's Belle entering the enchanted castle. The big, modern theater complex in my neighborhood was fully open, festooned with promotional posters just like in the Before Times. All the lights were on, including flashy digital displays advertising new films and fancy concessions. And when I first walked into the vast structure with my daughter and a friend of hers, it was eerily devoid of life. After a few seconds of tentative wandering around the lobby, a little face peeked out from around a corner, gasped, and disappeared again to stage-whisper to someone else about "a guest!" </p><p>I fully expected to be greeted next by a talking clock or candelabra, but instead we were greeted by one young woman cashier and two elderly gentlemen, one of whom took our tickets with the air of someone who had waited all day for a chance to do that, while the other stood at attention, vibrating with eagerness to be of service somehow.</p><p>Then we had the entire theater to ourselves. I wondered whether all the other theaters had movies playing in them, even if nobody was inside. But I didn't sneak around like a naughty teenager to find out, because I was supervising children. I did leave the theater several times to refill water cups and the bottomless popcorn bucket, and each time I emerged into the hallway, one or both of the elderly gentlemen would spring forth, offering to open doors and carry things for me.</p><p>My daughter and her friend had a marvelous time, so about a month later, we decided to try it again. Like the first time, the theater complex was strangely empty. There were a few other customers in the combined ticket sales and concessions line, but we were the only party at our show. Surely this is not because Michiganders have magically begun caring about each other, our overwhelmed hospitals, parents of young children, or the disabled. Ha! Never. It's because almost everyone is, at this very moment, miserably sick with "mild" Omicron and tortuous long Covid symptoms that make it impossible to enjoy restaurant food or stimulating films. And so, my family and small social group inherits the Earth just before total social collapse. We might as well take it, right?</p><p>Again, we saw a family-friendly movie based on an old one from my own generation's childhood, because absolutely everything being made in pop culture today is gloomily nostalgic for the childhoods of millennial and Gen X parents. Last time, we saw that dusty <i>Ghostbusters</i> franchise offering. This time, we went to see <i>Belle</i>, Mamoru Hosada's futuristic anime redux of Disney's <i>Beauty and the Beast</i>.</p><p><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/K1W61zetQ1c" title="YouTube video player" width="560"></iframe></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">In general, I am not into sci-fi, Disney-derivative content, or hours of unrelenting overstimulation. Okay, those are still not any of my favorite things. Recovery from this movie experience may have called for a parental pop of Valium. But I will say that I appreciated how everything "wrong" with this film mostly kind of worked on a mind-blowing meta level.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Much of the action takes place in a digital metaverse packed with pop cultural references both clear and vague. I'm fairly certain that I glimpsed abstracted nods to Disney's <i>The Little Mermaid</i>, <i>MST3K</i>, <i>The Labyrinth</i>, <i>Spirited Away</i>, Barbie, Cherry Merry Muffin, and various other random references from the pop cultural nostalgia of today's middle-aged adults. But the details are so many, and so mixed, and so remixed together in such a trippy variety of animation styles, that I'm not sure whether they are intentional references or creative flotsam and jetsam swirling in a soup of dreamlike, subconscious influences. The Disney's <i>Beauty and the Beast</i> set and plot replication, however, are unmistakable--though, in my experience, distractingly fraught with shots that seemed to be in old-fashioned red-and-blue 3D, and we weren't offered 3D glasses when we went in. Was it an artistic statement rather than a simple special effects feature? Would I have gone home with a wicked headache if I had watched through 3D glasses? I'll never know.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Mercifully, the metaverse sequences alternate with "real world" sequences created in a more serene, familiar anime style. The "real world" was more interesting to me, with some very funny moments and unsettling reminders that this realm sits firmly between the actual real world and the extra-unreal world inside the simple anime world. Early in the main character introductions, a schoolgirl remarks that many girls in her school are jealous of Ruka's long, slender legs. The following shots portray a large student body made up of identical little anime bodies with equally noodly legs. I'm not <i>sure</i> that was meant to be funny, but it was to me. When we enter the metaverse and meet Belle, a "real" schoolgirl's digital avatar, we see that Belle has the unholy appearance of a generic Disney princess morphed with a souped-up, beyond-idealized anime figure, exaggerated and elongated so that her legs appear downright spidery. Her appearance is both enchanting and sort of creepy. This is acknowledged by a disembodied voice describing her attractiveness as "weird." </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The "real" anime world contains a few hilarious characters, including a chorus of older women, a deranged best friend, and a cool girl (Ruka) who has a ridiculous crush on a wildly awkward kayak boy (incorrectly translated as a canoe boy in the subtitles; oh well).</div><p></p><p>I didn't love the metaverse world as much; it lacked humor and warmth and tormented my senses with clashy-flashy visuals and piercing, overwrought music that sounds like the lusty-lunged love child of showtunes and auto-tuned pop. Maybe I'm just old.</p><p>But I did appreciate the trippy combination of very old-school fairy tale threads with the sci-fi makeover of a specific Disney movie. It bothers me when references to Disney versions of fairy tales in non-Disney media seem unintentional, like the creators don't know which parts of the fairy tale were traditional before the Disney movie came out and which elements were created by the Disney corporation. <i>Belle</i>'s direct reference to Disney's <i>Beauty and the Beast</i> worked for me because of its context in a digital metaverse filled with branded pop culture references from around the turn of the 21st century. </p><p>At the same time, themes of older folklore ran through the plot independently. Children who have been orphaned or abused or neglected, venturing into a sort of wilderness filled with unpredictable magic, chaos, danger, and a chance at salvation, is a primal story spark. Ironically, the messy, shrieking, searing madness of the digital metaverse world in <i>Belle</i> represents the vibe in many authentic old folktales better than any slick Disney production ever has, as does the meandering and messy plot and the extreme emotionality.</p><p>I have to say that I did not love what I perceived as a lack of actual resolution regarding a couple of children in extreme peril in <i>Belle</i>.</p><p>But I did love that this movie dealt with both primal and corporate fairy tale references in ways I haven't quite seen before. And of course, I love that fairy tales are bubbling up into pop culture again! Dark, confusing, bestial fairy and folk tales have been an interest of mine as long as I can remember, since I was a little kid whose favorite book was a fascinatingly gruesome collection of Grimms' tales.</p><p>For millennia, oral folk tales and literature based on those tales have influenced each other, back and forth, spinning off numerous variations and mixing related stories back together, sometimes purposefully and sometimes unconsciously. It's a fascinating field of study, and I recommend that anyone interested in the evolution of "Beauty and the Beast," as portrayed in <i>Belle</i> or otherwise, start with Jack Zipes' translation of the first version written down by the Grimm brothers (they, like Disney, edited and processed authentic tales to fit the market, which in their day was shaped by the demands of bourgeois Victorian-era dads). Various literary iterations of the story precede and surely influenced the orally transmitted version recorded by the Brothers Grimm, extending through European nations such as France and Italy all the way back to Apuleius in ancient Rome.</p><p>And if you prefer <i>Belle</i>'s maximalism to the spare elegance of what most people think of as "traditional" (read: literary Victorian) fairy tales, you may be delighted by the shocking insanity unleashed in <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1142941992" target="_blank">Jack Zipes' <i>The Original Folk and Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm</i></a>.</p><p><br /><iframe allow="autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; picture-in-picture; web-share" allowfullscreen="true" frameborder="0" height="488" scrolling="no" src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fphoto.php%3Ffbid%3D697086521270%26set%3Da.522648855750%26type%3D3&show_text=true&width=500" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" width="500"></iframe></p><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">Jean Michelle Miernik is the author of <i><a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/2021/02/books.html">Leirah and the Wild Man: A Tale of Obsession and Survival at the Edges of the Byzantine World</a></i> and <i><a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/2021/04/the-grove-of-thorismud.html">The Grove of Thorismud: A Beauty, a Beast, a Slayer, and a Priest</a></i>.</span></p>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-90480560714163041942022-01-18T05:50:00.002-08:002022-03-20T05:26:26.838-07:00I Saved Thousands a Year by Going Electric<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmMcKjg63I11UmIIs-JDdwCyyjgsKkqyRR25qGyzSuVm96yjEYjq2cN4xoGNloNVHVqsQhFrsx683Ilck87f8Twy-dWY4DftgvNR5C9hx_au3HxlTvLd0G9mjtTpbXZQrvB9CW9qKkA-Dw/s1600/IMG_5423+%25282%2529.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmMcKjg63I11UmIIs-JDdwCyyjgsKkqyRR25qGyzSuVm96yjEYjq2cN4xoGNloNVHVqsQhFrsx683Ilck87f8Twy-dWY4DftgvNR5C9hx_au3HxlTvLd0G9mjtTpbXZQrvB9CW9qKkA-Dw/s640/IMG_5423+%25282%2529.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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And so did my mom, my uncle, Mr. Money Mustache, the Republican dad of a childhood friend... Swapping one of our cars for an electric vehicle has been one of the best decisions for my daily cost of living. I used to drive old gas-powered junkers that cost me thousands a year in gas, oil changes, engine maintenance, and repairs. Then I took a chance to own a 2011 Nissan Leaf, and it saved my financial life. No matter how cheap gas prices are, they don't come close to driving electric. My car has one of the most elderly batteries you'll find on the road, and I still pay less than a penny a mile. Can you imagine filling your whole gas tank for less than the cost of two gallons? I pay about 50 cents a night to fully charge my battery, and when I visit a place with a free charger, like my local library or mall, I can fill up for FREE in the parking lot.<br />
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In addition to saving hundreds-to-thousands on gas per year, I have almost no maintenance costs to own this vehicle. We bought new tires recently to replace the factory tires, and that has been our largest expense. The regular maintenance on this car includes changing the windshield wiper fluid and wipers and maybe replacing an air filter. No tune-ups, no engine repairs, no oil changes. Even the regenerative brakes and the suspension are designed so well that they might never need attention.<br />
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In addition to the buckets of money saved each year, I save an enormous amount of time and energy because I don't have to pump gas. I don't have to deal with mechanic shops. I don't have to change oil. To me, that more than makes up for the inconvenience of having to plan around my charging needs.<br />
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We still own a small, gas-powered pickup truck to do some of the things our electric car can't do (like get my husband to work at 4:00 a.m. in a snowstorm before the plows have come through, or to make a trip longer than the car battery can handle without a fast charging station on the route). But we both hope that we won't ever need to purchase a gas-powered vehicle again.<br />
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Every once in a while, I get horrified responses from people who hear I drive an electric car. "I could never!" they insist. You can't go on spontaneous, long road trips in it. You can't go mindlessly shopping in a handful of different cities in one day. You can't run unexpected errands for whomever asks. (Oh no.) It's easy to come up with excuses to avoid adapting to a new technology. But if you're motivated, it's also easy to come up with ways to make it work. For example, on the rare occasions my family wants or needs to take a long road trip, we rent a car, which is way cheaper than owning it all year long without needing it.<br />
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Driving electric is not yet a practical option for everyone, because not everyone has access to charging at home, and not every neighborhood has sufficient charging stations. But when it is possible, it is worth examining whether continued gas consumption is worth the cost.<br />
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You can now snatch up a used Nissan Leaf for a price that could entirely pay for itself in a year or two, depending on what you're driving now and how much. And newer models of electric cars perform better than mine, on less juice.<br />
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Owning this car has allowed me to pay off debts, build up an emergency fund, and become financially stable. I no longer have to worry that I won't be able to pay for the next big engine repair, or that my car will break down on a busy highway with my daughter in the backseat. I don't have to sweat at the grocery store, trying to calculate whether I can afford a week's worth of food and a week's worth of gas.<br />
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This car has helped me to breathe easier in more ways than one. For children and asthmatics, not having to breathe fumes from a gas vehicle every day makes a big difference to quality of life. And it feels good to know that we've contributed to cleaner air for our whole neighborhood. For us, the benefits of owning an electric vehicle--to our finances, health, and sense of communal responsibility--have far outweighed the inconveniences.<br />
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If an electric vehicle fits your commuting needs and you have a way to charge it at home, I recommend making the switch! I have never regretted it.<div><p style="text-align: center;">📚</p><p>Jean Michelle Miernik is the author of <a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/"><i>Leirah and the Wild Man: A Tale of Obsession and Survival at the Edges of the Byzantine World</i> and <i>The Grove of Thorismud: A Beauty, a Beast, a Slayer, and a Priest</i></a>.</p></div>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-89516551680088740162022-01-15T04:53:00.010-08:002024-01-02T04:20:37.439-08:00A Beauty, a Beast, a Slayer, and a Priest<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh69gpX6tvzw8V-jhR5DCSW_5VF4imcPcqQzSq1xhZvcS8Ku7T8Eq2PkSxI-ji_HlbAEVQQCSh82QeJrqg6GGx0L7PCLcqZ2LvDHjyZaKu3_NR5watDPkqTjjAv6magvl0gEmQu0n4lM-ksWoczKxN4VpKw1Qf76UjiRVII67f2jtO-sgIR55Km-GI_Yg=s349" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="349" data-original-width="240" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh69gpX6tvzw8V-jhR5DCSW_5VF4imcPcqQzSq1xhZvcS8Ku7T8Eq2PkSxI-ji_HlbAEVQQCSh82QeJrqg6GGx0L7PCLcqZ2LvDHjyZaKu3_NR5watDPkqTjjAv6magvl0gEmQu0n4lM-ksWoczKxN4VpKw1Qf76UjiRVII67f2jtO-sgIR55Km-GI_Yg=w440-h640" width="440" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiCAWlwTFF-_AR3WjPZTIGDd2ej6VT78ezhvDAX66I-J-hKlY-EdiNS425koVAR5gBucUAfIucU4__UUl-ahLeJZij4yq4n3xaLFNLG80Q3rF-JogMvOGUxUmfaNTJQZIgdeFcUoBx4Lrvq0pjKp5PIr6VxA6chDOvZWjrYGb3Yv_yYZiE0kKTG-NShXQ=s500" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="314" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiCAWlwTFF-_AR3WjPZTIGDd2ej6VT78ezhvDAX66I-J-hKlY-EdiNS425koVAR5gBucUAfIucU4__UUl-ahLeJZij4yq4n3xaLFNLG80Q3rF-JogMvOGUxUmfaNTJQZIgdeFcUoBx4Lrvq0pjKp5PIr6VxA6chDOvZWjrYGb3Yv_yYZiE0kKTG-NShXQ=w201-h320" width="201" /></a></div>I did it again! After the surprising success of my first semi-secret pandemic book release, I have published another book in both hardcover and ebook formats! I'll promote my books later, if I feel like it, after the idea of holding author events becomes less perilous. For now, it's fun to hit a few buttons to make my books available to my blog readers and local book shops without investing money or time into marketing. </div><div><br /></div><div>I released my first book, <i><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/59420481-leirah-and-the-wild-man" target="_blank">Leirah and the Wild Man</a></i>, a few months ago and only told my own friends and blog readers about it--but word got out, and several local booksellers contacted me about it. Some took it upon themselves to order copies, display them prominently, and sell them to walk-in customers. And voila, within one month my hardcovers had generated $1,000 for paper-and-ink booksellers, mostly local indie shops! So satisfying.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhEIDkN-y_pFgk2FZ73sOY2FqaOniA2bd-IQ2_VmDdp3qIdwJno8TgPcaaOtL_1IrAoanL0Hyu2Zvrs5MlNpG6YfIKXQR9D8DjOrvywb3uuTTvtv7_b-Q0emOOvJuon5Q3IHgZKCMehtR4VJKiAJGZt6oO2ZAaZepFaspCAJCfn7ARw72PhtmQJxrhkWg=s2048" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhEIDkN-y_pFgk2FZ73sOY2FqaOniA2bd-IQ2_VmDdp3qIdwJno8TgPcaaOtL_1IrAoanL0Hyu2Zvrs5MlNpG6YfIKXQR9D8DjOrvywb3uuTTvtv7_b-Q0emOOvJuon5Q3IHgZKCMehtR4VJKiAJGZt6oO2ZAaZepFaspCAJCfn7ARw72PhtmQJxrhkWg=w300-h400" width="300" /></a></div></div><div>I still have no idea how many ebooks I've sold, because it takes months to get that sorted out. Probably not many, because I have willfully disregarded the Amazon algorithmic games. Manipulating people into buying stuff they don't necessarily want gives me no joy whatsoever, not even at $3 a click. I don't want to be in the grim business of generating digital and paper waste. I'd rather connect with a readership that is smaller and stacked with people who will most likely enjoy what I've created. I spent multiple years intensively researching, writing, and editing each of my books; they are an artistic expression for me, not a get-rich-quick scheme.</div><div><br /></div><div>And so, without further ado, if you are looking for a finely crafted, raunchy, soapy, earthy fairy tale mashup for grownups that takes the reader on a wild romp through a literary exploration of the potent, dangerous, and liberating intoxication of sexual desire, pumped up with ancient pagan poetry and esoteric Biblical knowledge (oh yeah, that kind)...</div><div style="font-style: italic;"><i><br /></i></div>Hardcover and ebook editions of <i>The Grove of Thorismud: A Beauty, a Beast, a Slayer, and a Priest </i>are <a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/2021/04/the-grove-of-thorismud.html">on sale now</a>.<div> <br /><p></p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Princess Rosemary tries to be good, but her
suppressed desires for sleep, food, sex, and blood snap like an
outgrown garter and set off a curse—or is it a blessing?—that grants her
a hundred years of uninterrupted sleep. </h4><div style="text-align: left;"><h4>A handsome rescuer
awakens her and tries to restore her dynasty, but a nomadic wolf
huntress beats him to the throne by freeing the most recently cursed
royal, King Gustav, from transformation into a beast. </h4></div><div style="text-align: left;"><h4>Meanwhile,
the land has been taken over by witches and eaters of human flesh. </h4></div><div style="text-align: left;"><h4>All Rosemary
and Gustav want to do is stay inside and love their seductive rescuers, but
their spouses form a dangerous rivalry. When Rosemary's husband takes out his
frustrations on her, he drives her to seek comfort in the hospitable home—and
unusual marriage—of King Gustav. </h4></div><div style="text-align: left;"><h4>Treasonous
plots and secret alliances threaten the fragile new stability of the kingdom,
and so does the earthy magic of the land itself.</h4><h4> </h4><p style="text-align: left;"><i>The Grove of Thorismud</i> is an unconventional Gothic romance (in the literary sense of the word "Gothic"; unlike its sister novel <i>Leirah and the Wild Man</i>, it contains no depictions of actual ethnic Goths) and a timeless, steamy tale that coincidentally (because I wrote it in the Before Times) speaks to today's feelings of ennui, languishing at home in loneliness and boredom, fear of plague, and deep-rooted craving for revolutions both personal and social. Although it deals with dark themes, the story is playful and fun to read, with juicy twists and gratifying payoffs. My goal as the author was to write the kind of book I would have been likely to read over and over again as a young reader--back when books marketed toward, or about, young adults and teens were still wild and outrageous and filled with excitement and peril that was not just physical in nature, or political, or moral, but also emotional and sensual; books that didn't preach a simplistic message but rather broke the banks of socially acceptable concepts to open hearts and minds to the bloody mysteries of being human.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;">To get your hands on a beautiful hardcover edition, call or visit your favorite local indie book shop and ask them to order it. You can also <a href="https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-grove-of-thorismud-a-beauty-a-beast-a-slayer-and-a-priest-jean-michelle-miernik/17996638?aid=78758&ean=9781088015759&listref=fairies-folks-monsters-muses&">purchase <i>The Grove</i> through my Bookshop storefront</a> to benefit real bookstores and myself as the author at the same time.</p></div></div>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-3002113751486727742022-01-08T03:06:00.681-08:002024-01-02T04:29:54.079-08:00Who Defines Success for You?<p>Singer-songwriter Lea Morris takes a walk with her personal concept of success in this insightful video. She contrasts the American dream of wealth, fame, and power with the idea of personal fulfillment, which can vary widely. I resonate with her personal definition of success as the ability to create and experience joy in everyday life, and I was inspired to reflect upon not only <i>what</i> my definition of success is but <i>who</i> has attempted to define success for me throughout my life and <i>why</i>.</p><p><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/7PWvxSFWtf4" title="YouTube video player" width="560"></iframe></p><p>I believe that the answer to <i>what</i> success is is simple in general though possibly complicated in the specifics. As Lea says, I believe the general answer has to do with joy--success is the ability to create joy for the self and loved ones--because as human beings, we have evolved to become social creatures with inherent motivations to take good care of ourselves and our communities. Doing what we are meant to do feels good all the way down to our bones, because that is how we are wired through evolution. It doesn't necessarily feel good like a sugar high followed by a crash; it feels like serenity, peace, and deep meaning. It doesn't mean we never feel pain or experience hardship; it means we grow the strength to endure difficulty because we are successfully loving ourselves, our communities, and what we do each day.</p><p>In this strange, new era of post-industrial human society, some of us have been raised, educated, and employed by older generations that taught us to define success as a measure of productivity in a fast-consumption economy. Now the world has already changed rapidly, imploding under self-inflicted environmental disasters and health crises both physical and mental.</p><p>It is time to reevaluate what success means to us individually and collectively. </p><p>Me, I believe that human beings can develop alternatives to economies of constant growth. Unchecked growth is cancer, and evolution does not follow a consistent "bigger is better" trajectory. Getting rich and famous and powerful can certainly provide us tools for fulfilling our needs and solving problems for ourselves, but when they are pursued as ends in themselves, they can become even bigger problems.</p><p>We live in a complex society that has given us many privileges and comforts, and I am grateful for that. I don't want to see it all go to waste because we all decided it was rude or pessimistic to acknowledge when systems aren't working as intended anymore--when we've had too much of a good thing--when our good intentions have been used to pave a road to somewhere we really don't want to go.</p><p>On a personal level, I don't want to spend the next maybe 2/3 of my working life feeling like I haven't made it to "good enough" yet. I don't want to spend that time wearing myself out striving toward unrealistic or misdirected goals, too busy to stop and enjoy what I have along the way.</p><p><i>This is it.</i></p><p>My childhood is done and over; my young adulthood is wrapping up too. We can't take our money or our fame or our power with us when we die, so none of us "win" by achieving those things in the end. We win by living while we're alive. </p><p>The ongoing pandemic has made this abundantly clear to me. I have had plenty of time to reflect upon what it is that makes my heart sing and what I can't afford to let pass me by. </p><p>Like Lea, I know that I don't enjoy being poor or ignored. Of course, everyone has basic needs that make life easier when they are assured. But beyond having our basic hungers sated, what makes us feel truly alive? </p><p>For me, it's homemaking and art. I feel an ecstatic burst of joy every afternoon when I go to pick my daughter up from school and see her adorable self gamboling around outside the school with her friends. I hardly give any thought to bragging about her accomplishments or pushing her to think about what career she'll pursue when she grows up--yuck. That stuff feels sad and boring and pointless to me, especially in such a rapidly changing world that none of us can predict well enough to think we can micromanage and manipulate our kids onto a reliable track to adult success. Seeing her just be a happy, healthy child squeezing every pleasure out of her existence in this crazy world makes me feel like little hearts are exploding out of my skin.</p><p>I feel that way when my husband gets out of work early, or when I wake up in the morning to the smell of espresso he's made for me before he left for his early shift.</p><p>I feel a zing of affection when my cat runs to the door to greet me when I come home.</p><p>I feel like glitter inside when I have friends over and serve them good food and homey comforts and pleasurable company, when I take the time to hear about their wonderful, unique longings and joys and interests.</p><p>I take deep satisfaction in designing and decorating my home in ways that increase the joy and comfort of my family, my friends, and myself. I love hearing a friend of my daughter's say to her, "I love the vibe of your house."</p><p>I like lounging around watching artsy movies and foreign films. I like listening to shocking stand-up comedy.<br /></p><p>I like reading books, sometimes four or five times, secretly, intimately, without always letting anyone know my numbers or my lists--reading is sacred and private, and I don't want it to feel like homework.</p><p>But I also like reading to my daughter and making up dramatic character voices, or doing a deep dive into a book discussion with a friend who <i>really gets it</i>. </p><p>I'm not a musician, but I submerge in music like a fish in water, letting it take me places. </p><p>I love visual art--making it but mostly appreciating it, honoring it, surrounding myself with it.</p><p>I like baking ugly, buttery cookies in a vintage Mrs. Fields apron.</p><p>And I'm learning how to detox my soul of the notions that these inclinations of mine are unfeminist, lazy, stupid, passive, silly, unimportant, selfishly indulgent, or, let's call it what it really is, too feminine.</p><p>I like my conventional marriage to an unconventional man. I like cuddles. I like getting enough sleep and chocolate.</p><p>I like challenging myself when it feels clean and healthy and empowering.</p><p>I like dancing by myself, and I like throwing myself off cliffs on a sled, and I like working behind the scenes for social justice movements that lift up real people's lives in ways that I get to find out about.</p><p>The thing about being a unique little snowflake in a big, complex society like ours is that there is a place for everybody to fit right in and be their best self without getting in anyone else's way. It's easy to get lost or exploited in a big, impersonal society like ours, but on the other hand, there is always an escape, another option to try, an exciting road yet to be explored.<br /></p><p>If the deepest desires in our hearts are neither self-abusive nor violent toward others, then there is nothing more tragic than ignoring or suppressing them. So many different things can make a person feel alive; we can't and should not try to be everything to everyone, only our own true selves. A complex society relies upon diversification to function. We need specialists in a wide range of functions, so there's no shame in being uninterested or incompetent at any particular thing. Trying new things and giving them a real shot is healthy, but after that, trying to force ourselves to enjoy or excel at something we know we're not into is a waste of our time and others' too.</p><p>And we don't need to analyze or justify why we love what we love. Our hearts won't change their magnetic poles whether we understand them or not, or whether we can explain them satisfactorily to anyone who inquires. All we need to do, all we <i>can</i> do if we want a chance at happiness within our one wild and precious life, is to recognize our deepest desires like long-lost friends and embrace them.<br /></p><p></p><p><br /></p><p><i style="background-color: #ececec; color: #990000; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Jean Michelle Miernik is the author of <a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/p/the-grove-of-thorismud.html">salacious, barbaric novels set in medieval Eurasia</a>.</i></p>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-59169746048383827722022-01-01T07:08:00.001-08:002024-01-02T04:40:57.073-08:00TFW You Reach the Age of a Season 1 Desperate Housewife<p></p><blockquote>No matter how secure we are, we all experience moments of dread.</blockquote><p></p><p>-Mary Alice, the dead narrator of <i>Desperate Housewives</i></p><p>Friends, I have reached an age when I can't recognize which other people are my age, including this shifty broad in the mirror.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiGaucuqFYNra_NUr8mm5oFo7WDg7NjpYwn_QU4XSN6n1Ybk_5sy3AM1g73fBw2H7FuqzvzvqVqyClABEqEYRBM4K-W8qBI_C4TQKiNg81v9ZKK_SFcKJqQRAYM6hYYCGvrs5ptW0QS9DQbpoPlnIHCx7zEhAF7Jd9g7XyHUVcqpIbhSR33TJeQ0d7fEQ=s1440" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiGaucuqFYNra_NUr8mm5oFo7WDg7NjpYwn_QU4XSN6n1Ybk_5sy3AM1g73fBw2H7FuqzvzvqVqyClABEqEYRBM4K-W8qBI_C4TQKiNg81v9ZKK_SFcKJqQRAYM6hYYCGvrs5ptW0QS9DQbpoPlnIHCx7zEhAF7Jd9g7XyHUVcqpIbhSR33TJeQ0d7fEQ=w640-h640" width="640" /></a></div><p>She hasn't grown out of her teenage acne yet, but she has a new streak of white hair. Then again, what trendy Gen Zer doesn't? However, observe the millennial side part. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhUJZ2PwNHast8til9GJxwf7IcRtIT7R2qxzNtgVwcL_rFkpQEMHLzKKLEVIaJwsncOQ4_DkyACNk8b2OpuvTQRktd5xmDc7xWD1uGxkM9Ui13ilyiEJs6Jtc6vmImNirPTjqhv18-NSGrSvqlkKtkoaEoY5BVLQ0VLxtwQuf-1h7SsQG6bIAiN3QC1ZA=s1920" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1920" data-original-width="1646" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhUJZ2PwNHast8til9GJxwf7IcRtIT7R2qxzNtgVwcL_rFkpQEMHLzKKLEVIaJwsncOQ4_DkyACNk8b2OpuvTQRktd5xmDc7xWD1uGxkM9Ui13ilyiEJs6Jtc6vmImNirPTjqhv18-NSGrSvqlkKtkoaEoY5BVLQ0VLxtwQuf-1h7SsQG6bIAiN3QC1ZA=w343-h400" width="343" /></a></div>She thought this mirror might make her look like a cute pinup girl from another century, but instead she's seeing a reflection of Grandma--when Grandma was young. <br /><p></p><p>Anyway, she thought it would be fun to watch <i>Desperate Housewives</i> while folding laundry the other day, because she has never seen it before, having had no interest in the show when it was on the air, not even ironically, because she was too young to relate. But now that she is a grownup and a mom, she supposed it would be fun to watch a show about women in their, what, late 40s and 50s? Maybe their fictional lives would be more amusing to her now. She saw that the characters had children both younger and older than her own child, give or take a few years. She decided she could relate to that, even if she obviously had her child at a younger age than these career-first, upwardly mobile society ladies did.<br /></p><p>She smiled at the quaint set and the soapy-satire setup--so funny, so silly, so darkly cute, like the neighborhood in <i>Edward Scissorhands</i>. This is what middle-aged women aspired to be like around the turn of Ye Olde Century, rich and fancy and skinny and done up like <i>Mommie Dearest</i> over that horrid, yanked-up-at-the-temples Joker brow lift thing.</p><p>Yikes! Well, to be fair, not everyone can look like J.Lo at 50.</p><p>She Googled the ages of the three main non-Eva-Longoria cast members to make sure she wasn’t being unfair, and—</p><p>OH MY GOD.</p><p>Behold, women around the age of 40, as seen on TV in 2004!</p><p>Wahoweee! No way! What?!? Is that what I look like? No. Definitely not, because clearly beauty standards for 40-year-old women are so much easier now than they were then. I'm not suggesting that the women of Wisteria Lane aren't beautiful--they are. Nor am I suggesting that I am prettier than they are. However, it looks like beauty hurts them more.</p><p>In the 2020s, bony hips are out, and giant butts are in. My mother-in-law used to say that when you reach a certain age, you have to choose your face or your ass. But nowadays some of us can put a little extra butter on our toast and achieve a fashionable booty style that comes with enough subcutaneous fat to keep our face skin from going all crepey. Done and done! </p><p>Thick, fluffy eyebrows without dramatic arches are a thing these days, and if you want brows that shoot up off your forehead like fireworks, there are YouTube drag tutorials that demonstrate how to achieve the look without scalp stitches. </p><p>Gray hair is on trend! </p><p>Balloony boob jobs are over! </p><p>Today's 40-year-old women are allowed to wander the earth dressed like wild winter witches in voluminous nap dresses and call it fashion!</p><p>To be honest, in the shallows of my vain heart I'd like to look like Shakira, but that seems hard and expensive, so winter witch it is!!! It's important to set obtainable beauty goals. May we all find security in our mortal dread.</p><p>Happy 2022!<br /></p><p><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;">📚</p><p>Jean Michelle Miernik is the author of <a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/"><i>Leirah and the Wild Man: A Tale of Obsession and Survival at the Edges of the Byzantine World</i> and <i>The Grove of Thorismud: A Beauty, a Beast, a Slayer, and a Priest</i></a>.</p>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-5449512638699990492022-01-01T03:00:00.000-08:002022-03-12T03:27:51.252-08:00LEIRAH AND THE WILD MAN Now Available in Ebook Formats<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiom47JDzoeOcHs40ytWHALpRjluPlo5anAN6dT9PZrq6Uo6kmD5vA9p0ndGnQqNYZkKBUzDvnpbUdCIk0NldP8vFvfpERt5vd-iOINW5R2R0krSf81qL05QoR9szTZL8Z_H6Ce4sUhiEVI/s2048/mkt_cover_leirah-and-the-wild-man_629a.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1287" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiom47JDzoeOcHs40ytWHALpRjluPlo5anAN6dT9PZrq6Uo6kmD5vA9p0ndGnQqNYZkKBUzDvnpbUdCIk0NldP8vFvfpERt5vd-iOINW5R2R0krSf81qL05QoR9szTZL8Z_H6Ce4sUhiEVI/s320/mkt_cover_leirah-and-the-wild-man_629a.jpg" width="201" /></a></div><div><p></p><p>Are you bummed out about travel difficulties and shipping delays as we enter yet another Covid-complicated holiday season? Relief is here! Enjoy this cheap, instant-gratification ticket to a wild and exciting adventure full of 100% imaginary peril, which you can enjoy snug within the comfort of your own bed, pillow-and-blanket-heaped couch by the fire, or bubble bath if you have the right kind of protection on your reading device.<br /></p><p><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Leirah-Wild-Man-Obsession-Byzantine-ebook/dp/B09JT15Z4G/ref=sr_1_1">Read a free excerpt of the Kindle version at amazon.com.</a></i></p><p><i><a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/leirah-and-the-wild-man-jean-michelle-miernik/1140381893?ean=9781087917122">Read a free excerpt of the Nook version at barnesandnoble.com.</a></i></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Leirah and the Wild Man: A Tale of Obsession and Survival at the Edges of the Byzantine World</i> is a historical thriller set in the 11th century.</span></p><span style="font-size: x-large;">Leirah
dreams of stealing a Viking longship, hunting pirates, and freeing the
world's thralls. As if by magic, the dragon boat of her fantasies
appears at her backwoods homestead, and a crew of seductive outlaws
invites her to join them in terrorizing the rich with disguises based on
the monsters of local folklore. But Leirah fears their secretive
interest in her favorite brother Aven. She takes him and flees on an
epic journey down the length of the Danube, from the Black Forest to the
Black Sea, through the gates of Constantinople, and into the last
stronghold of the Goths.</span><p> In addition to the hardcover edition, ebook versions are now available for download on sites including: <br /></p><div class="three-column-list mar-top-30 max-width-730"><ul><li><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Leirah-Wild-Man-Obsession-Byzantine-ebook/dp/B09JT15Z4G">Amazon</a> (Kindle)<br /></li><li><a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/leirah-and-the-wild-man-jean-michelle-miernik/1140381893?ean=9781087917122">Barnes & Noble Nook</a></li><li><a href="https://bookmate.com/books/u2DWYwTy">Bookmate</a></li><li><a href="https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/leirah-and-the-wild-man">Kobo</a></li></ul>
</div></div>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-17355271966189126892021-12-30T02:29:00.001-08:002022-02-23T04:46:21.622-08:00Pocket of Joy: Queer Eye Season 6<p>My final post in the 2021 "Pocket of Joy" series, which was inspired by the one and only JVN and his commitment to embracing joyful little moments no matter what else is going on, is all about the premiere of <i>Queer Eye</i> Season 6 on New Year's Eve--tomorrow!!</p><p><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/3Yo2ohiqF4o" title="YouTube video player" width="560"></iframe><br /></p><p>I never get tired of watching these guys swoop in and fairy dust a random person who has become stuck in the mud--one at a time, over and over, like the title character of "The Star Thrower" does, enjoying the singular salvation of each and every one.</p><p>It reminds me that in every human life there is suffering and difficulty and unfair disadvantage, but there is also a limitless sea of opportunity in which to play. Getting washed up doesn't mean we're done as long as we can accept a little help diving back in there.</p><p>This show is a fun reminder for everyone who has survived the past couple of years that when we're at our worst, there are so many ways in which things can get better. May we all keep our minds and hearts open to new life after every loss.</p><p><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;">📚</p><p>Jean Michelle Miernik is the author of <a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/"><i>Leirah and the Wild Man: A Tale of Obsession and Survival at the Edges of the Byzantine World</i> and <i>The Grove of Thorismud: A Beauty, a Beast, a Slayer, and a Priest</i></a>.</p>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-61725678384894703172021-12-23T03:59:00.003-08:002024-01-02T04:53:02.652-08:00Pocket of Joy: Generating $1K in 1 Month for Bookstores Just by Writing a Story<p>What a magical Christmas surprise! Last week, I started to feel pretty depressed after hearing anecdotally and seeing in the media that many people who identify as book lovers have suddenly and catastrophically lost their ability to actually read novels. (Yes, I realize that this is a whimsical thing to be depressed about when there is so much suffering in the world right now, but I'm sad about everything else, and yet I still can't help feeling sad about literacy too. Skip this first paragraph if you can't stand the sound of a tiny violin today--My attitude has already been readjusted.) The story goes that this decline in literacy started at the end of the 20th century with the expansion of internet culture, which wasn't just another distraction but changed people's brains on a neurological level. Then the pandemic's mental fog and toxic stress accelerated the loss of literacy. The story implied that I was a functionally extinct sort of dinosaur for having taken comfort all through the pandemic in slowly rereading classic literature and my favorite worn-out paperbacks from decades of personal library curation. I read more terrible reports in the media that felt uncomfortably true, that everybody wants to be an author or to own a bookstore, but nobody actually reads books anymore or cares about the craft of writing. Literary culture has been sneakily replaced with a bubble of non-readers LARPing as bibliophiles who secretly can't manage a whole paragraph, whose minds and free time are packed to the brim with 20th century sitcom reruns, whose repetitive stress injuries are from scrolling Instagram, not typing. The story suggests that I have been foolish, delusional, and selfish to spend years of my life researching and writing a work that nobody asked for--investing so much of my attention, money, and time along the way that could have been spent on my family instead, or on a charitable cause or something.<br /></p><p>But then, I received a report of my hardcover book sales between about Halloween and Thanksgiving, and let me tell you, it re-lit all my candles of hope, joy, and worthiness as a writer!<br /></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiEn4REByd-i9GP1x1i2b84pTBMhMxwhRLK6hwx2MzgjTJ1WV9-xdnzLzI3Iyfdipdw5GAg0zCQlouI7oq_uxIi8-8x3GKn4Z3li8tQb5xSMBuFuMks1lbwabWHTQKWkD7MQSmaG3NK09MD4nLrRVRjID9HiCzE86B4l74Rzrf9Y2mc7UxKTUw0Gfiqjw=s2048" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiEn4REByd-i9GP1x1i2b84pTBMhMxwhRLK6hwx2MzgjTJ1WV9-xdnzLzI3Iyfdipdw5GAg0zCQlouI7oq_uxIi8-8x3GKn4Z3li8tQb5xSMBuFuMks1lbwabWHTQKWkD7MQSmaG3NK09MD4nLrRVRjID9HiCzE86B4l74Rzrf9Y2mc7UxKTUw0Gfiqjw=w480-h640" width="480" /></a></div><p>Not because I made a bunch of money and increased my <i>net</i> worth, though I have been assured that I will soon recover the $75 I spent on uploading files to IngramSpark, which is encouraging. In fact, it's all I needed to see to have the courage to upload another book!</p><p>I lit up like a Christmas tree inside because, according to my back-of-the-envelope calculation, my hardcover book sales have generated about $1,000 in revenues for bookstores--<i>just by me sitting at home behind a computer, tapping and clicking and paying $75 in fees. </i>I haven't even gotten up off my kiester to promote this thing, and it has started finding readers without much help from me! </p><p>The cover of the book itself illustrates what happened--My name is at the bottom, clear as mud, fading into the earth, and the figure on the cover appears to stride forward, determined, demanding an audience with the book browser, her slender ankle sweeping through the letters of my name to get where she's going.<br /></p><p>I released my novel without generating any buzz first, with none of the usual months-long marketing process that is supposed to precede a book release. I didn't pay for any advertisements. I didn't enter any contests. I didn't hustle, beg, bribe, or trade favors for anyone to pull tricks to inflate my sales numbers. I didn't pay for a Kirkus review or bother to figure out what a Bookbub is. I avoided all depressing internet forums about how to most effectively lick the crumbs off the floor beneath the decadent late-stage Roman emperor's feast of Amazon algorithms. I ignored trends and best practices when designing the cover for my book. I did all this because I published my book at the moment I let go of the idea that I'd ever have a writing "career" that could be profitable in an economic sense. I published my book to be done with it, to feel some closure on that part of my life. To give myself the satisfaction of a clear ending. To do what the voices inside of me demanded, to shut them up, and no more.</p><p>I did make efforts, with intention, to make sure that my book would be likely to benefit a shop that sold it or a reader who bought it. I can handle the idea of my book not selling, but I can't stand the thought of people feeling ripped off by it, so I did try to make sure it had something of value to offer.<br /></p><p>I chose IngramSpark's Indy Press instead of using any other popular print-on-demand service because Ingram will distribute a self-published novel in the same way it would a traditionally published novel. This doesn't necessarily benefit the author in terms of offering the highest royalty on each sale, but it makes it easier and more profitable for local book shops to order inventory.</p><p>With that goal in mind, I set up pricing for my hardcover edition with a generous trade discount, and I made my books returnable. This maximizes profit and minimizes financial risk for booksellers to invest in my inventory, making it more likely that they will. Bookstores that order and sell copies of my book make a much larger cut of each sale than I do, which I believe is fair. They handle the logistics, the overhead costs of running a shop, the point of sale system, the sales taxes, and all the other business-end stuff I'd rather not deal with. And, to my astonishment, they sometimes take it upon themselves to do a little promotion!</p><p>Several local bookstore owners reached out <i>to me</i> after I announced the surprise release of my self-published debut novel on my little personal Facebook account and my little blog here. I was just giving my personal friends and the few regular readers of my blog a heads-up in case they wanted a copy at a temporary discount, before the holidays. I planned to begin properly promoting my work maybe in the spring, when author events in local book shops might be more safe to schedule. (Michigan is taking a long, sad ride on the pandemic struggle bus right now, and I can't imagine hosting a public indoor event.)</p><p>It was incredibly sweet to hear from local shop owners who somehow saw one of those announcements or heard about it through the grapevine, and it was a dream to witness them proceeding to order copies of my book and display them prominently! (I still haven't ventured out to see my books on retail shelves in person, but one shop owner and one relative snapped pics for me.)</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhN6dj6RIVIAwpI0tOJ79K7AK0S4Ewa5TP8phkCmKu0H-XrrRjVWDl0K0iI_UU2rqIfBzu0Qrb_qWLk_5n2MVhCLm5gj0fRS2gKdaRm-rugIrUuTta-UVjCluvhvPLdmNMgmHagqR0zp3yvFucdHxQWxZSzYZRjS7TFSQVD9rjE-Uw0KHBtKFc47cGG1w=s1374" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1030" data-original-width="1374" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhN6dj6RIVIAwpI0tOJ79K7AK0S4Ewa5TP8phkCmKu0H-XrrRjVWDl0K0iI_UU2rqIfBzu0Qrb_qWLk_5n2MVhCLm5gj0fRS2gKdaRm-rugIrUuTta-UVjCluvhvPLdmNMgmHagqR0zp3yvFucdHxQWxZSzYZRjS7TFSQVD9rjE-Uw0KHBtKFc47cGG1w=w640-h480" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><p>I heard many compliments about the cover design, which, my God, I whipped out in a rush using IngramSpark's free book-building tool and a couple of public domain images. It did turn out pretty nice, though, didn't it? For my own pleasure, because I didn't expect to sell more than a dozen or so of these things, and I hate the thought of even thinking about how to game algorithms for sales (blerg), I used Victorian-era fairy tale illustrations by Arthur Rackham. The front cover illustration was created for the story "Catskin," a Cinderella-related variant closely related to others such as "Donkeyskin"; "Princess Mouseskin"; and <a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/2015/04/crack-nutshell-enter-lime-tree.html">"Allerleirauh" ("All-Kinds-of-Fur"), from which I derived the name Leirah, and which contains the magical device this blog is named after, the magic nutshell</a>. The Rackham illustrations were born of a golden era in book design, when beautifully crafted and illustrated books were treasured by those with the means to collect them and give them as gifts. I thought I would reproduce a hint of that experience for anyone who might purchase a copy.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhgW-Mo1lBx-2dh-Ejm2w2a7tTowwv4ojApoOQ00Y30eyVVP5m2A8TQVcXZDebWoP4odnVcNQHLRTJcwKJaoh8QBYSNMsq8BQj2niasve8lrmb8DE-8nR8ldtmLEwC2LT58K6I6ca2JTjAQqFMaT7vX3Y4TgbIJuSwJMkuPNJUHt0259kwmZZEBJzeNRA=s1440" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1085" data-original-width="1440" height="482" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhgW-Mo1lBx-2dh-Ejm2w2a7tTowwv4ojApoOQ00Y30eyVVP5m2A8TQVcXZDebWoP4odnVcNQHLRTJcwKJaoh8QBYSNMsq8BQj2niasve8lrmb8DE-8nR8ldtmLEwC2LT58K6I6ca2JTjAQqFMaT7vX3Y4TgbIJuSwJMkuPNJUHt0259kwmZZEBJzeNRA=w640-h482" width="640" /></a></div><p>That's another reason I chose to go with IngramSpark over any other POD service--their hardcover books are the highest quality among their competitors, and that matters more to me than the highest profit margin. I can't take pleasure in selling something that doesn't feel worth its price tag.</p><p></p><p></p><p>There are companies that produce spectacular, old-fashioned, fancy editions of books to rival those produced for medieval royalty or Victorian-era wealthy Christmas shoppers, such as <a href="https://www.grimmbindery.com/" target="_blank">Grimm Book Bindery</a> (oh, swoon!).</p><p>It is good to feel good enough to dream again.</p><p>Anyway, I gave my humble Indy Press edition a vintage vibe to please myself and any potential strangers out there who are into the same kind of book beauty that I am--no neon yellow color blocking, no gigantic sans serif font, nothing grasping at an aesthetic of trendy popularity. Instead, my hardcover edition's visual aesthetics reach for the largely forgotten, gamy flavor of pre-Disney folklore, as foreign to modern English speakers as <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeW1eV7Oc5A" target="_blank">the authentic Shakespearean accent, which sounds less like the classy English we have learned to expect on the stage and more like Talk-Like-a-Pirate Day</a>.</p><p>Who needs algorithmic cheat codes, anyway? It would be ironic in the worst way, totally off-brand, for me to focus my energy on figuring out how to "win" at selling a Robin Hood-esque tale through a <i>Hunger Games</i>-esque exploitative billionaire's soulless marketplace. This is not to say my book is not available on Amazon; it is! And I love the "Look Inside" feature that Amazon provides for my ebook (the first two chapters and part of the third shown as a free sample). But my readers have to go and find it there if they want to; I will not be bothered with trying to win at algorithmic games to trick people into buying it through a rigged popularity contest. Because I did not release the first edition of my book exclusively through Amazon, it will not be favored on any of the big digital "bestseller" lists, and that is fine with me. Cult classic status is my highest ambition for it.<br /></p><p>Because you know what makes me happier than a digital ranking that might, if I'm lucky, translate into a little more pocket change?<br /></p><p>Supporting my local bookstores at a meaningful level <i>just by creating art</i>! My God, I have always longed to be a person with enough money to support the local arts--the performance halls, the galleries, the bookstores that I used to enjoy and appreciate so much in the Before Times! Art is the closest thing I have to a religion, I think.</p><p>To know that I've "accidentally" directed a thousand dollars to paper-and-ink booksellers within a month, just by smashing a publish button from behind this keyboard, is amazing to me.</p><p>And <i>of course</i> it does not make me an extinct dinosaur to love books, and <i>of course</i> I was silly to overreact so much to those gloomy anecdotes and internet stories about eroding literacy. There are absolutely other people who still read books! (Or, at least, who buy them with the intention to get back into reading after the pandemic fog clears, <i>which it will</i>.)<br /></p><p></p><div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg6Nvp_QR7BeVF9Zy0BdOwiRNCBi1XEFTUgwVdczO6eFstszlEfkEr8O2v7eti7WYCO5MnffAWqUsDJKcPIS1jhcj1QzNb_QcLXIL9ccCBsby7QqpDBbyUP8J65WOVBRGRru9zSJuVSUPMcThEz57WIIaV43K9MFhGhilKg_KFn_kxXAlI2-YmbhTrLbg=s1600" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg6Nvp_QR7BeVF9Zy0BdOwiRNCBi1XEFTUgwVdczO6eFstszlEfkEr8O2v7eti7WYCO5MnffAWqUsDJKcPIS1jhcj1QzNb_QcLXIL9ccCBsby7QqpDBbyUP8J65WOVBRGRru9zSJuVSUPMcThEz57WIIaV43K9MFhGhilKg_KFn_kxXAlI2-YmbhTrLbg=w640-h480" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I feel like the 10-years-ago me again!</i><br /></td></tr></tbody></table> </div><div>There are more than 70 people who purchased my hardcover books <i>before Thanksgiving</i>! I don't have that many ride-or-die friends, and some of my friends went for the ebooks anyway! <i>Strangers</i> must have bought some of those books. Some of those beautiful strangers surely saw the lovely displays at the optimistically named <a href="https://www.everybodyreadsbooks.com/" target="_blank">Everybody Reads Books</a> and made the decision to take my book home with them. How astonishing! </div><p>As long as this terrible pandemic situation finally runs its course soon, like every other pandemic in human history has, I think I might have the confidence to plan some author events this spring and support my local book shops even more--by giving them a generous cut of sales of my books and also, I expect, by me blowing everything I earn at the events in the stores hosting them. </p><p>It is good to have something to look forward to.</p><p>It is good to know that I'm not alone in my love for a quirky, pretty hardcover novel.</p><p>It is good to feel that my creative efforts have been worthwhile. </p><p>May you never stop believing in your own imagination! May your holidays be stacked with good stories! And may you always find someone to re-light the little candles in your heart every time they burn out.<br /><br /><span face="Lato, sans-serif" style="background-color: #ececec; color: #990000; font-size: x-large;">Jean Michelle Miernik is the author of </span><i style="background-color: #ececec; color: #990000; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/p/the-grove-of-thorismud.html" style="background-attachment: scroll; background-color: transparent; background-image: none; background-position: 0% 0%; background: none 0% 0% repeat scroll transparent; color: #d67f3f; cursor: pointer; text-decoration-line: none;">Leirah and the Wild Man: A Tale of Obsession and Survival at the Edges of the Byzantine World</a>.</i><span face="Lato, sans-serif" style="background-color: #ececec; color: #292929; font-size: 20px;"> <br /></span></p>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-64769928118108265212021-12-20T04:03:00.012-08:002022-02-23T04:46:50.702-08:00Mental Health Monday: Cycling Back to Wonder<p>We thought that maybe this would be the After Times by now, or at least we would have them scheduled in our 2022 appointment books--the last vaccinations for the last little people in our families, releasing us finally from this constant dread. The last wave of death. The last holiday without hugs. But no, there are no answers yet. There is no resolution. There is no closure. There are only closures and cancellations, again! <i>Saturday Night Live</i> and other shows with audiences have pulled up their stakes without warning. Return-to-work dates for office buildings have been declared absurd. Businesses are shutting their doors "for the holidays" but especially for these particular holidays.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjkMvdEmIokORd-GyVPb7vK0T4OpNEHeFAJp5VJTFlCoRx9HVil07xHoey2AUHc3yYhGdvd7k0K9Kh9ovaYS1xisHW_Pix6Pdohkt5AsP7GuspdRnsUC1zP89Zycd23VaP1XyW0Hosit_KRXDss2ajt8uXlV86OlaYIpo2gyNlZ52FOXVMqz-2S8dgijQ=s1920" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1355" data-original-width="1920" height="452" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjkMvdEmIokORd-GyVPb7vK0T4OpNEHeFAJp5VJTFlCoRx9HVil07xHoey2AUHc3yYhGdvd7k0K9Kh9ovaYS1xisHW_Pix6Pdohkt5AsP7GuspdRnsUC1zP89Zycd23VaP1XyW0Hosit_KRXDss2ajt8uXlV86OlaYIpo2gyNlZ52FOXVMqz-2S8dgijQ=w640-h452" width="640" /></a></div><p>Again, we wait, without knowing if there will ever be clear answers about what's happening, for how long, and what we're supposed to do in the meantime. I am trying to accept and appreciate that. I've already forgotten why or how to be angry at America's cultural and personal commitments to failure, or maybe my anger was so constant for so long that it's burned out. Or it has nowhere to go. A lot of the people who enraged me with their stupid and reckless behavior last year are dead now, or at least hangdog-chastened because enough of their loved ones are dead that some sadness has leaked in and rotted the seams of their bravado. Some of the people who used to bellow about "libs" and "sheeple" and the virus being fake are now moping and whining about the government inventing the virus so it could have an excuse to inject us with magnetic superpowers, 5G access, alien octopi, etc. </p><p>Here comes the next wave of sadness and grief--not just for actual people who are dead but for my foolish delusions that everyone had good inside of them, that nobody--or at least not that number of people--could actually sustain that level of batshit stupidity and self-defeating delusion, that most people could be redeemed before it was too late. I guess we just sit back and watch the next slow mass-suicidal purge then.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgMe_6gPukcgM9ExhiqDS5U9A7iJeS1R2xO_4o3Va7JFt1id7fonFomchvBWYXMOVie8Y4vefoPv7FTjkjKYA17zNnMhduMWw99ytGgmbJSqMMIWojqBd6djqsj7get7dkeMVAuZJr-sXY4Ye7E6g6e3FluoHK63l2d7VTNEioURwhSYcWaq2C7gksbbQ=s1600" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgMe_6gPukcgM9ExhiqDS5U9A7iJeS1R2xO_4o3Va7JFt1id7fonFomchvBWYXMOVie8Y4vefoPv7FTjkjKYA17zNnMhduMWw99ytGgmbJSqMMIWojqBd6djqsj7get7dkeMVAuZJr-sXY4Ye7E6g6e3FluoHK63l2d7VTNEioURwhSYcWaq2C7gksbbQ=w640-h640" width="640" /></a></div><p>Maybe we all need false hopes and delusions to get us through sometimes. Maybe we who are privileged with educations and empathy and creative storytelling abilities need to practice getting used to the hurt when the cold, wet truth breaks through the stories we tell ourselves to feel warm. Maybe this is the practice we need to take up, so we can be strong enough to go on without real hope for any particular outcome, without goals that can be measured or achieved. With dreams that are abstract and meant for someone else, somewhere, sometime. For our children maybe. For our children's children.</p><p>I've forced myself to believe in silly things to survive a sad Christmas before. For example, there was that one Christmas I nearly literally froze to death in an unheated slum apartment in Rome. Surrounded by icy, worn marble and acid rain-pitted travertine and diesel-ravaged Renaissance sculptures and the world's most beautiful language in which to express sadness and cold, I told myself that my mom was serious when she said through the expensive static of our last phone call before the minutes I couldn’t afford ran out that we'd celebrate Christmas when I returned home, even though it would be January by then. Half of me chose to believe that, and half of me didn't believe I would make it back home at all, so strongly that I was stunned when I did get off the plane later, in my hometown, where of course nobody had kept any remnant of Christmas waiting for me. I did, however, get care for my skin rashes and malnutrition and here I am, physically alive and well knowing I will get through this sad Christmas too, in which I live in a heated house with a loving family around me. I think back to that time when I really and truly thought I was going to die, and I know that I can survive a very deep sort of chill, but yes, it did take a bit of lying to myself to get through it.</p><p><iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/h5K_ntt9InU" title="YouTube video player" width="560"></iframe></p><p>The song above, by underrated and sometimes (to this day) poverty-stricken musical genius Morgan, was sometimes shown on the little rabbit-eared TV in that horrible little apartment that year. (It is from an album entitled <i>Canzoni dell'appartamento</i>, <i>Songs of the Apartment</i>, and the album art depicts Morgan living in a depressing little apartment much like mine at the time (but a lot more shabby-chic charming) and also surviving mental illness, abuse, and ripping sadness. Sometimes the power was on, and sometimes I caught a glimpse of a beautiful performance like this on Italian MTV.</p><p>That time is over and done. It can never hurt me again. It will forever remind me that I can survive a deep freeze that feels unsurvivable.<br /><br />All of this past summer and fall, I thought, as soon as my daughter is vaccinated (fortunately we have no one in our home under the age of five, and I have so much love and sorrow for all who do), we will go out to the movies. We will go out to the zoo and run through the crowds and watch the otters play by the sparkle of the Christmas lights, like we did Before. We will have friends over. We will tell them in person how much we missed them, and we will show it by feeding them dinner and cookies baked with love. We will celebrate and play without anxiety over breathing the same air, like we did Before. We will say, see! We still remember how to be fun and social!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhKd0zFImszMvOXbNZavgfNEia-44XyEYw3yhSL9sMAYTeffGgTonkbk1Je9MkpQEcy-b0kUfRuojw8-W-5RmnxJipMhkLbTo4baVsTFvn1U11ie1earEZ21nuhpP6KO5cgjQs0Z0tOAyH5bq3H5ZC8mX9V3PnrNDUUvxTwoDYZpixQ0I2co5-I6uOQxg=s1600" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1208" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhKd0zFImszMvOXbNZavgfNEia-44XyEYw3yhSL9sMAYTeffGgTonkbk1Je9MkpQEcy-b0kUfRuojw8-W-5RmnxJipMhkLbTo4baVsTFvn1U11ie1earEZ21nuhpP6KO5cgjQs0Z0tOAyH5bq3H5ZC8mX9V3PnrNDUUvxTwoDYZpixQ0I2co5-I6uOQxg=w484-h640" width="484" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>Ope! Now some of the people who flaunted all their brave traveling and dining out over the past two years are traumatized and scared by all the predictable illnesses and deaths they’ve suffered. Now they’re the ones who aren’t fun anymore, just at the moment my family feels safe venturing out. </div><div><br /></div><div>I was the one who needed that story about things going back to normal, not my daughter. She has already learned how to be happy alone in the quiet, and to make new friends spontaneously and often when things get weird with last year's friends. This is normal to her. She doesn't need to push through grief to find joy in each new moment. She isn't panicked when she can't find actionable plans or reasonable answers in her inner monologue. She does not need to overanalyze everything she knows, contrasting this moment with decades of a way of life she had learned to take for granted. 20% of her life and 100% of her burgeoning adolescence has unfolded within The Time of Corona. She hardly notices it or thinks about it anymore.</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiVirJZg3efH3yVm-CCjFGKmSoH0HJ92xLlGar2C1OJmGZNXNtv5CTmXSWbhPXBQUmUgPMXZE7FNiVbVZCJtf5FiKSuxgLlmaKZz4y-wuNnMcgkeZ38vd_0ttHJ3uSVTwjR1KSJ6DR4Z4tYHB0mdWe92vsB0sbCUE3au2xIenFoVvqh0xCY7Dxygo1MKw=s1440" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1439" data-original-width="1440" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiVirJZg3efH3yVm-CCjFGKmSoH0HJ92xLlGar2C1OJmGZNXNtv5CTmXSWbhPXBQUmUgPMXZE7FNiVbVZCJtf5FiKSuxgLlmaKZz4y-wuNnMcgkeZ38vd_0ttHJ3uSVTwjR1KSJ6DR4Z4tYHB0mdWe92vsB0sbCUE3au2xIenFoVvqh0xCY7Dxygo1MKw=w640-h640" width="640" /></a></div><div><br /></div>She isn't The Mother. ("Is that really what she calls you?" her best friend asked me last week at the movie theater. "She's creepy." And the little friend wriggled with glee and giggles. These kids, they think dread and fear and things that sound ominous are hilarious.)<p>My daughter could've done without the movies, or the zoo, but she liked the ideas.</p><p>And I checked the showtimes at our local movie theater and found that it is still operating, still lighting up those vast screens with those shining Hollywood hits. On a Monday, right after school: <i>Ghostbusters: Afterlife</i>, starring some of the original cast of her childhood favorite <i>Ghostbusters</i> movies, plus a star of her favorite show, <i>Stranger Things</i>. </p><p>So we invited her bestie, who was also very excited to come along, and we bought an infinitely refillable bucket of popcorn and boxes of candy, and those girls had the time of their lives.</p><p>Unlike me, they did not find it unnerving that we were the only human beings in the entire complex except for three very eager employees who seemed as excited to see us as if we were a lost French girl wandering into a lonely, enchanted palace inhabited by desperate talking teapots and candelabras. </p><p>I used to work in a movie theater, when I was a kid. I used to take its crowds and chaos for granted. Last week I looked around me saw the end of the world as I know it. The girls saw a great adventure. They stood on opposite sides of the vast theater, throwing a stuffed kitten like a football in majestic arcs over my head, as I sat in the exact center of the gaping emptiness filled up with violent sounds so loud we had to curl over and plug our ears sometimes, deafening sounds that missed the mark at covering up the eerie silence of the whole experience and somehow amplified it. <i>Would it be less painfully loud if there were other human bodies in here to absorb the sound? Why have they not adjusted the levels to accommodate this emptiness? Don't answer that.</i></p><p>The girls kept their masks on, between bites of popcorn and Sour Patch Kids. They weren't required to, but they don't experience their masks as muzzles or symbols of repressed grief or shields against the hopelessness and death that some of us are frantic not to share. No, their masks are just normal accessories, as forgettable as underpants or glasses.</p><p>And after the movie, which was depressing and sappy, they were jazzed up and lit from within at the thrill of having seen it, and we went out into the night to wait for the little friend's mom to pick her up, and the girls made squealy noises of delight as they played with the landscaping rocks and ran foot races in the cold dark without their coats on, up and down the sidewalk along the empty, potholed parking lot. </p><p>And in awe of their irrepressible joy, and starting to feel lifted up by it, I went on to plan the next outing: the zoo! The Wonderland of Lights! </p><p>But then I looked it up, and there is no Wonderland. I guess that ended a couple years ago, in the Before Times. The zoo closes before dusk now, always, and you have to buy a ticket timed to avoid crowding. The only holiday-lights activities at night are alcohol-based fundraisers for adults, no kids allowed. The world my family waited for so patiently, while the whole world seemed to scoff at our caution, could not wait for us. It is collapsing. The high of delusion is crashing and pulling everything down. And of course I am the one who is startled by this, not my daughter. She doesn't yet romanticize her young childhood, not like her frazzled, gray mother does. Maybe she never will. Maybe that's good.</p><p>Or maybe I'm just forgetting what it was about my childhood that was actually magical, and it wasn't the theater or the zoo or anything so distracting from my inner life.</p><p>I drove through my own childhood neighborhood the other day, and I was possessed, gently, by a sense memory of buoyant joy, the thrill of steering a bicycle with my bare feet at a reckless speed, flying, free, when disaster felt impossible and fascinating, exciting, tantalizing. There is not even a tint of sadness there, on the route between my childhood home (now my brother's home) and the neighborhood playground.</p><p>As it was in my childhood, everything is shabby there. The houses are poor and in disrepair. The roads are crumbling. The trees and bushes are wildly neglected. The Christmas decorations are off the chain, piled madly in gaudy, blinking heaps upon the ruined little shacks and the scruffy lawns. There is nothing to show off or take pride in there, and yet there is unstoppable happiness, unfettered celebration, the freedom of having nothing to lose and no reason to feel entitled or disappointed. It is as it has always been.</p><p>That is a real place I can go back to, physically and emotionally. It brings me back to a time when I had no expectations, nothing to prove to anyone, at least not during playtime, which was outside of ordinary time. It was the 1980s, the fantasy era of <i>Stranger Things</i>, and children roamed free in limitless fields of imagination, where the geography and the architecture were nothing but creative prompts for spontaneously and communally spun dreamscapes--the grittier the raw materials the better--where potholes and roadblocks were ramps to hit as hard as we could so we could ride the air.</p><p>That was Before.</p><p>The After hasn't come yet. And that means the story isn't over. We haven't decided yet how it ends. And nothing has yet stopped us from starting a new one. I forgot, the way things were chugging along, that we could do that, and that it was too exciting to be scary.</p><p>There is a magic in that moment of floating, of flying, of beat-up Huffy wheels spinning chaotically through nothing, of a sled slinging us into the icy sky. There is a comfort in that stretched-out moment, of weightlessness, of drifting in the unknowingness before we were ever born, when we were nothing except potential energy.</p><p>I'm trying to let my daughter lead me back to what I have forgotten how to feel.</p><p>It snowed this morning, and today we're going to bake pie and cookies, and tonight we'll go on a walk through the neighborhood we live in now, with Oma and Opa (much "nicer" than the one we lived in when I was a kid) to look at the holiday lights, mute with radiant joy in the quiet snow. I'll accept, with gratitude, what it all holds unsaid.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgcET7tq0NMeQDMG0wYh1HBowAbpzTxE9veahLOxvMyU8rsxOo07fat5HjG1S3tigtBjmCMbTGe4Cuu7fMO7d6Jy_Tn7XFTe03iiQa1vwc6lh8Z-BCyeihNtpFpX0tZArNGuK9jCu508LNmmNlblDvmyLFwlzoOpj52pKByndGPa_lHWhilBDN-HmvdUA=s1440" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgcET7tq0NMeQDMG0wYh1HBowAbpzTxE9veahLOxvMyU8rsxOo07fat5HjG1S3tigtBjmCMbTGe4Cuu7fMO7d6Jy_Tn7XFTe03iiQa1vwc6lh8Z-BCyeihNtpFpX0tZArNGuK9jCu508LNmmNlblDvmyLFwlzoOpj52pKByndGPa_lHWhilBDN-HmvdUA=w640-h640" width="640" /></a></div><p><br /><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;">📚</p><p>Jean Michelle Miernik is the author of <a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/"><i>Leirah and the Wild Man: A Tale of Obsession and Survival at the Edges of the Byzantine World</i> and <i>The Grove of Thorismud: A Beauty, a Beast, a Slayer, and a Priest</i></a>.</p>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-36837558675273878282021-12-16T02:30:00.001-08:002021-12-18T06:24:12.420-08:00Pocket of Joy: Being a QUITTER QUITTER GLITZ AND GLITTER!<p>Sometimes it's better than <a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/2021/11/winnar-winnar-turkey-dinnar.html">a turkey dinner</a>, especially <a href="https://blog.nanowrimo.org/post/661964417705115649/marathoning-during-the-time-of-covid" target="_blank">in the time of Covid</a>. As a follow-up to my recent advice to "<a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/2021/12/so-just-fudge-everything.html">let yourself eat cake</a>," I think we should all unironically consider the advice of Prince Richie McRichface with his wife Mrs. Sparkle and every other million/billion/trillionaire who exhibits this rare rich person behavior: saying something both honest and compassionate that actually aligns with their own observable actions. </p><p>I know, it's much easier for someone with "f u money" to quit a toxic employer / family / racist nation / whatever and fly off into the sunset, but it is also possible for people with "f u self-worth" to make a daring escape into the fairy-tale wilderness of prioritizing health over wealth.</p><p>Many regular people are <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/12/great-resignation-myths-quitting-jobs/620927/" target="_blank">taking opportunities to switch to better jobs or deciding to retire early</a>, which isn't exactly "quitting" in the way that word is normally used.</p><p><a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/state-probe-kentucky-candle-factory-workers-say-threatened-firing-rcna8796" target="_blank">Some people at that candle factory in Kentucky sought shelter from a tornado even though they were threatened with firing</a>, which it seems rude to call "quitting." </p><p>Sometimes "quitting" a toxic work environment is as good for you as quitting cigarettes or meth.</p><p>This advice comes too late for many people who worked at that candle factory, at the nearby Amazon warehouse, and in many other places that weren't destroyed by a natural disaster but which have destroyed the spirits and minds of their employees slowly over months or years.</p><p>"Nervous breakdowns" have made a comeback. </p><p>But you know what hot new trend has also come back, this time with the Markle sparkle? </p><p>Prioritizing your mental health!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgFRkPlpL_JU9Vs33PRcn_emGHFCyd2Dm9_vPw_P6W0HJ39lv_lFJIhTKQdtXk0KRzXEjLiHlWUZ7ghyjhYrw09elIuPP8qV-JY-U8R8v53mDHgBuoU3kremdLaYtUfjl7MXVK-fkhRBvQwO5qfWsJmruwtKqiJMeP5AFj6e9KuUb4YjQDNL--bSlwfBA=s600" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="600" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgFRkPlpL_JU9Vs33PRcn_emGHFCyd2Dm9_vPw_P6W0HJ39lv_lFJIhTKQdtXk0KRzXEjLiHlWUZ7ghyjhYrw09elIuPP8qV-JY-U8R8v53mDHgBuoU3kremdLaYtUfjl7MXVK-fkhRBvQwO5qfWsJmruwtKqiJMeP5AFj6e9KuUb4YjQDNL--bSlwfBA=w640-h640" width="640" /></a></div><p><i>Photo cropped from <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/rambomuscles/27537241539" target="_blank">Flickr version by Mark Jones</a>. This file is licensed under the <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en" target="_blank">Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license</a>.</i></p><p><a href="https://pagesix.com/2021/12/06/prince-harry-quitting-is-good-if-your-job-doesnt-bring-joy/" target="_blank">Prince Harry says to chuck your job in the bin if it doesn't spark joy!</a></p><p>And I think it's a good look.</p><p>If you can't just up and quit your job because you're an American and your access to lifesaving health care depends upon constant employment, merely searching for your next gig can help. It can help you feel a sense of control over your situation, even if you don't find something better immediately.</p><p>It can also help to say no more often, to decline anything not required or which probably goes against labor law and can be litigated later (like staying in a building that's sitting in the path of a tornado, for example), and to focus on filling up your time and attention outside of the work day with other priorities, such as family activities, dates, hobbies, or even a side gig or passion project that could lead into a future career change.</p><p>Assertive people with high self-esteem tend to be better respected and more productive, so improving your life outside of work might even help you to change your dynamic at work.</p><p>If not, you can always quit! It's better than getting crushed by a tornado, succumbing to <a href="https://observatory.tec.mx/edu-news/karoshi-phenomenon" target="_blank"><i>karoshi</i></a>, or losing your $h*! at work and getting fired, which is happening, um, a lot lately, it seems.</p><p>Fancy people quit all the time, and it 100% makes their skin glowier.</p><p>Indeed offers a few timely words of advice on "<a href="https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/starting-new-job/how-to-resign-from-a-job-you-hate" target="_blank">How to Gracefully Resign from a Toxic Job</a>."<br /><br /><br /><span face="Lato, sans-serif" style="background-color: #ececec; color: #990000; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Jean Michelle Miernik is the author of OG Robin Hood-style saga </span><i style="background-color: #ececec; color: #990000; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/p/the-grove-of-thorismud.html" style="background: none 0% 0% repeat scroll transparent; color: #d67f3f; cursor: pointer; text-decoration-line: none;">Leirah and the Wild Man: A Tale of Obsession and Survival at the Edges of the Byzantine World</a>.</i><span style="background-color: #ececec; color: #292929; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 20px;"> </span></p>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-61877260984124082772021-12-13T03:54:00.003-08:002022-02-23T04:47:17.366-08:00Mental Health Monday: You Need a Nap, a Snack, a Hug, and a Good Story<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Alas! And alleluia! I cannot spill any tea nor sling any fudge <a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/2021/12/so-just-fudge-everything.html">as promised last week</a> because for now, my family's immediate financial security and access to health care have been restored in exchange for our discretion. I'm sure you know how it is. Sometimes we can make a clean, healthy break and leave a toxic relationship, family, or employer behind us forever. And sometimes that isn't as possible or simple as we would like it to be. So while we learn to survive a harmful situation that can't be ended quite yet, we must be careful not to give up anything that is not required. For example, my husband has promised himself and his family that he will no longer work overtime or agree to do anything in exchange for money that would unnecessarily risk his life or his health. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Now let's pause and send some healing energy to the survivors and surviving loved ones of <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/kentucky-tornado-factory-workers-threatened-firing-left-tornado-employ-rcna8581" target="_blank">that candle factory in Kentucky that bullied low-wage overtime workers into staying in an unsafe building when they knew a tornado was coming</a>. It is better to be broke than broken. And to keep ourselves whole, we must demand for ourselves enough rest, nourishment, and love. And to be effective self-advocates, we must find the right kind of stories to believe in.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Over the weekend, my husband and I filled up on a long-awaited feast of magical energy when we celebrated his 40th birthday in our snug cabincore kitchen, along with three other December birthday friends who all went to high school with us--a very magical, unique, and kind of Hogwarts-like public school that no longer exists in the form it did when we were there, and which we have learned to appreciate deeply only after it has faded into legend. But guess who hasn't faded into legend? All of us middle-aged AP class kids who felt compelled to settle back where our roots run deepest and use our esoteric educational background to develop weird, secretive, unprofitable powers that each of us see and appreciate in each other. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">It's hard to explain, but anyway, there is nothing like basking in the warm glow of longtime loves who have shared an indescribable formative experience with you. We turned up the hygge all the way and shared the joys of a macadamia milk hot cocoa bar, a colorful burrito bar, a spontaneous discovery of parathas with cream and honey, a variety of exquisite and festive libations, a key lime pie, and a round of personal catch-up stories that only we would appreciate as much as we did.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEizTlKzy4wVK10F9qxRAxsJjJD1dWoJHsiaCEl3_v89GgAAWtpcjUhIyjPGLfQBlzgM7h81yS74U9Mw89UeVdDtlP_elWN7ZIF3hp1OuHHdvI-sZtWQ5XDHXpe4yIJ4KSet7L9OuBPqMvvBY8-3YOZMzt4U-oubAp8XzkFVO-maLdHNInRoL0qeqF3Amw=s1440" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEizTlKzy4wVK10F9qxRAxsJjJD1dWoJHsiaCEl3_v89GgAAWtpcjUhIyjPGLfQBlzgM7h81yS74U9Mw89UeVdDtlP_elWN7ZIF3hp1OuHHdvI-sZtWQ5XDHXpe4yIJ4KSet7L9OuBPqMvvBY8-3YOZMzt4U-oubAp8XzkFVO-maLdHNInRoL0qeqF3Amw=s1440" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgQhYifhhRDgTi6A-afWDAvM8ebfPNyGtFgZ6OSam-Yb1CT-bwit-HQw_5ACiMTkp_phbdqK9CL4kGBRIy8zGJUl40QLD6XIsZT-F6S7UsC8fY0T8ceyt_XJD-CKEUp2m70DtlB66UlUXCCB71YWDDwQzMFGXDgryfLY-QSkW3rvFZ18XSGGDZssQYKww=s1440" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgQhYifhhRDgTi6A-afWDAvM8ebfPNyGtFgZ6OSam-Yb1CT-bwit-HQw_5ACiMTkp_phbdqK9CL4kGBRIy8zGJUl40QLD6XIsZT-F6S7UsC8fY0T8ceyt_XJD-CKEUp2m70DtlB66UlUXCCB71YWDDwQzMFGXDgryfLY-QSkW3rvFZ18XSGGDZssQYKww=w640-h640" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEizTlKzy4wVK10F9qxRAxsJjJD1dWoJHsiaCEl3_v89GgAAWtpcjUhIyjPGLfQBlzgM7h81yS74U9Mw89UeVdDtlP_elWN7ZIF3hp1OuHHdvI-sZtWQ5XDHXpe4yIJ4KSet7L9OuBPqMvvBY8-3YOZMzt4U-oubAp8XzkFVO-maLdHNInRoL0qeqF3Amw=s1440" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEizTlKzy4wVK10F9qxRAxsJjJD1dWoJHsiaCEl3_v89GgAAWtpcjUhIyjPGLfQBlzgM7h81yS74U9Mw89UeVdDtlP_elWN7ZIF3hp1OuHHdvI-sZtWQ5XDHXpe4yIJ4KSet7L9OuBPqMvvBY8-3YOZMzt4U-oubAp8XzkFVO-maLdHNInRoL0qeqF3Amw=w640-h640" width="640" /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg_YHnlntxxoLyezmENoqm_SmDya7vl0liD8NXpqcwfxS-PWQKe2K20iWpkz7Zc94wDyTio_NbnCIjHBg0_ncOomDVMv_6F0UyVgR6Tza8hdWxyifVLQJE8x1MdPGl5JsiFh0PU8H-vJnstYpM1XO8aEitWiywQxhVSK7c84cWIGpLDmeAFwcgVz07o9A=s1440" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg_YHnlntxxoLyezmENoqm_SmDya7vl0liD8NXpqcwfxS-PWQKe2K20iWpkz7Zc94wDyTio_NbnCIjHBg0_ncOomDVMv_6F0UyVgR6Tza8hdWxyifVLQJE8x1MdPGl5JsiFh0PU8H-vJnstYpM1XO8aEitWiywQxhVSK7c84cWIGpLDmeAFwcgVz07o9A=w640-h640" width="640" /></a></div><br />The relaxation! The food! The vaccinated HUGS! And oh, the good stories! We feel restored to our fullest contentment and ready to handle whatever nonsense comes along next.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">People can't be productive or useful or good at anything if we don't have our basic needs met, needs which are human rights which nobody has to earn. If you have a romantic partner, a family member, or an employer who makes you feel like you don't deserve health, happiness, and comfort until you earn them, you are being poisoned with psychological abuse. The antidote is self-love, guarded by strong boundaries around your rights.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">As often as you can during a stressful time or a sojourn in a poison paradise, lie down someplace warm. Eat a cookie. Snuggle up to someone who loves you. Tell or listen to a story that makes you feel powerful. Do these things before you feel like you have to.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj8ebMffVPGlfmIoDLJMbguD2C96qNPTnTmz_wENF6DoaYT8n6SinztQKDJ6KDgRv2nX057TIBlLh9u9mO6Lrngvw-upPKVpsKVDAS2jJRRtqXpJiy9gCguXB6DnJGxv-NXVwbUGJb-GUx8PSnZW4tn8eMUgODulEeFJv-PJ1P6SPrgFp2U1iP1P4ImQA=s1920" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="1920" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj8ebMffVPGlfmIoDLJMbguD2C96qNPTnTmz_wENF6DoaYT8n6SinztQKDJ6KDgRv2nX057TIBlLh9u9mO6Lrngvw-upPKVpsKVDAS2jJRRtqXpJiy9gCguXB6DnJGxv-NXVwbUGJb-GUx8PSnZW4tn8eMUgODulEeFJv-PJ1P6SPrgFp2U1iP1P4ImQA=w640-h426" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Sometimes we can make a bad situation better by practicing believing in our worthiness and our right to enjoy being alive. Not to sleep when we're exhausted. Not to eat after we've starved ourselves or punished our bodies with overly intense exercise. Not to pay for a massage only after our bodies have stopped working. Not to dutifully consume whatever articles, books, TV shows, movies, and music someone has told us we should like. Feeling our own happiness and joy should come first, not last, because when we love ourselves and treat ourselves well, we are naturally more creative, energetic, supportive, and fun for others to be around.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">There are many psychological reasons why it can be hard to believe that we deserve happiness or even small comforts without earning them, and a lot of those reasons are rooted in messages we pick up in our culture about owing our whole existence and every moment of our time and every drop of our lifeblood to our employers and our parents. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I hope that if and when we become bosses and parents to someone else, we don't use our power to snuff out the lights of the next generation in service to ego wounds that compel us to abuse our power. Let's break the cycle, starting with ourselves. To better understand the causes and consequences of feeling unworthy of happiness, or even believing that happiness must be earned, I read some helpful articles by <a href="https://www.trackinghappiness.com/do-i-deserve-to-be-happy/" target="_blank">Tracking Happiness</a> and <a href="https://www.coaching-online.org/i-dont-deserve-to-be-happy/">coaching-online.org</a>. </div><p>It was interesting to reflect on myself, how I've absorbed beliefs about my need to earn happiness, comfort, and even basic health based on family dynamics, my educational systems, certain emotionally abusive friendships and romantic relationships, and my work environments.</p><p>But now, as an adult in a healthy marriage, with better boundaries and insights regarding family issues than I had as a child, and as the mother of a child I never want to burden with feelings of inherited shame or worthlessness or lack of agency, I understand that there is nothing lazy or indulgent or "extra" about demanding, up front, the right to healthy sleep, nutrition, time with loved ones, and the freedom to write and experience and live out stories that are meaningful to us.</p><p>Through my 20s and 30s, I have fought hard against negative self-beliefs to carve out the time to write <a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/p/the-grove-of-thorismud.html">two novels, <i>Leirah and the Wild Man</i> (on sale now) and <i>The Grove of Thorismud</i> (coming in spring 2022)</a>. Both of these novels were therapeutic for me to write in different ways. </p><p>Leirah, the main character in my first book, is a semi-feral orphan who scavenges her survival out of the land and a life of crime. I didn't write Leirah as a homeless orphan and nationless outcast to gain sympathy from the reader; to be honest, I wrote her that way to fulfill a wild fantasy of my own, to imagine what it would be like to feel no obligation, ever, to an oppressive family, school, employer, or society. Of course, a fantasy is not a wish. I am well aware that I am fortunate to have a family, an education, and many years of work experience. I would never even consider trading my life for one like Leirah's--I don't even like camping! But in a movie or a book, we can find release from the pressures of our real lives in the perilous adventures of a fantasy character who has problems compelling enough to distract us from our real life but whose dilemmas don't trigger our own real-life worries because they don't hit too close to home.</p><p>In the end of <i>Leirah and the Wild Man</i> (no spoilers, though), Leirah seeks a life that more closely resembles mine, and describing her yearning and gratitude and wonder at this kind of life made me feel more appreciative of the privileges, comforts, and blessings I have.</p><p>The main character of <i>The Grove of Thorismud</i>, Rosemary, is another young woman, but she is the opposite of Leirah in many ways. Rosemary is a cloistered princess with an excess of stuff she doesn't need and a numbing lack of danger in her life. And yet she doesn't have her real needs met either. She's bored, lonely yet deprived of all privacy, so anxious she suffers from insomnia within a cushy fortress, and smothered by the overbearing obsessions of her mother.</p><p></p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg3R9_Uiz-z6BzxqoN19TPyyBeV9rJakYrB8fvEEyE4BUMJOT8k3yhcL2WaenDwcsBnbL08itFRlmUPnqFYZIdvhoGlna4DSvNWWkcjxtIKRQ4ZOAh0MM-RqalaZLjV2pQqwIqXyY6DFUSS1sy9iWZWWGOiPbQszh6zlo2Nu3YuX4AwFvPSDUpmXXLcuA=s2048" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg3R9_Uiz-z6BzxqoN19TPyyBeV9rJakYrB8fvEEyE4BUMJOT8k3yhcL2WaenDwcsBnbL08itFRlmUPnqFYZIdvhoGlna4DSvNWWkcjxtIKRQ4ZOAh0MM-RqalaZLjV2pQqwIqXyY6DFUSS1sy9iWZWWGOiPbQszh6zlo2Nu3YuX4AwFvPSDUpmXXLcuA=w240-h320" width="240" /></a></p>Rosemary doesn't have the education, the wits, or the physical ability to escape her gilded prison, so although she rebels in small and secret ways, she doesn't make a conscious effort to flee or fight her circumstances. Instead, her frustrated desires take on a life of their own, growing and bucking beneath the surface until the force of her cravings implodes like a black hole, sucking a latent magic from the wilderness through the defenses of her fortified home and her pure and virginal body, a magic that has the power to grant all of her wishes, at a terrible cost to every traditional structure and system in the land.<p></p><p>But does Rosemary get punished for this wanton intemperance of desire, in the end? Or does she revel in unearned naps, snacks, and pleasures of the flesh, happily ever after? </p><p>I can't spill that tea either, not quite yet. </p><p>But I do hope that someday, somewhere, someone reads her story while eating cookies and snuggling with a sexy partner in a sumptuous bed, only dropping the book to fall into a blissful and uninterrupted slumber full of indulgent dreams and fantasies. And that the reader awakens, refreshed and rooting for poor little Rosemary whether they like or admire her as a character at all, because happiness should not have to be earned.<br /><br /><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;">📚</p><p>Jean Michelle Miernik is the author of <a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/"><i>Leirah and the Wild Man: A Tale of Obsession and Survival at the Edges of the Byzantine World</i> and <i>The Grove of Thorismud: A Beauty, a Beast, a Slayer, and a Priest</i></a>.</p>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-24004272161353160482021-12-09T08:29:00.042-08:002021-12-18T06:25:29.422-08:00Pocket of Joy: Hot Chocolate with Extra Cheer<p> Cheers to Galliano and Crème de Cacao! </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh74wIFeRAFgA9Gf0Tb-ZPaESjbVk9cZkOEavQDlazC08cAcAaH0UkgWhADNUsK57txRNzTfDw_8F4zbyh41Y7PsSDciyRRmRRpqMqDAoEtGsg9RdRBa9Oc57oB_jkqRWIX1NObp8VMaBO6-Sii1ktBDpHdyfg5A4nfwGtaCpjeCwYc5NKKfZa8VRpA6A=s1440" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1440" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh74wIFeRAFgA9Gf0Tb-ZPaESjbVk9cZkOEavQDlazC08cAcAaH0UkgWhADNUsK57txRNzTfDw_8F4zbyh41Y7PsSDciyRRmRRpqMqDAoEtGsg9RdRBa9Oc57oB_jkqRWIX1NObp8VMaBO6-Sii1ktBDpHdyfg5A4nfwGtaCpjeCwYc5NKKfZa8VRpA6A=w640-h480" width="640" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>It sure is nice to drop a little naughty in a mug of hot cocoa to wind down in the sparkly evenings of this high-intensity time of year. Any creamy, sweet, or chocolatey liquor will do, but at my house we love the sophisticated and festive complexity of Galliano and the sweet, deep chocolatiness of Crème de Cacao.</div><div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhS5uIZrws8dkPmA1DE-VFd_P9YpbbW_xaJhY_OkL0Luwnv-I77z3JK1d-xObvaOalovDnRtIy46MbFxIQRvdp9PpAoNo_oNCM7adVvHoD9CNgJTfhWpNLsTapaDNExkfmxAPZ2oQd3BTR3B4aUVFmnN4h3Dn3AFAWwqo2pueVG0O4rC2DkKhWahbpK4g=s1920" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="1920" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhS5uIZrws8dkPmA1DE-VFd_P9YpbbW_xaJhY_OkL0Luwnv-I77z3JK1d-xObvaOalovDnRtIy46MbFxIQRvdp9PpAoNo_oNCM7adVvHoD9CNgJTfhWpNLsTapaDNExkfmxAPZ2oQd3BTR3B4aUVFmnN4h3Dn3AFAWwqo2pueVG0O4rC2DkKhWahbpK4g=w640-h426" width="640" /></a></div><p>Although we are dairy-happy people who would never turn down a heap of whipped cream on top, we also appreciate the respectably delicious alternative of macadamia nut milk. <br /><br />What's your favorite way to naughty up a nice little cup of cocoa?<br /><br /><br /><span face="Lato, sans-serif" style="background-color: #ececec; color: #990000; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Jean Michelle Miernik is the author of the very nice, deliciously naughty novel </span><i style="background-color: #ececec; color: #990000; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://blog.magicnutshell.com/p/the-grove-of-thorismud.html" style="background: none 0% 0% repeat scroll transparent; color: #d67f3f; cursor: pointer; text-decoration-line: none;">Leirah and the Wild Man: A Tale of Obsession and Survival at the Edges of the Byzantine World</a>.</i><span style="background-color: #ececec; color: #292929; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 20px;"> </span></p></div>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4832987120213123540.post-59468804090466805792021-12-06T03:02:00.005-08:002022-02-23T04:47:35.428-08:00So Just Fudge Everything <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgUQcN3_idxomss2xoH8xCEIgudlKr628Dk3Q5pcvQFKq64KUvkbN7v6WScshM7QjzoAPQbOLbBjKvm-CD9mDcuGPXbu1gS4NzR-3dstp04jRcsdLPJaiT1RVi9jkfEzalSFT4LHQj3Yp4n-F3NXVDLHX_fcAvIFdpGw0EcINPyzMz7WDKn2Gm6UFvTHQ=s2048" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1365" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgUQcN3_idxomss2xoH8xCEIgudlKr628Dk3Q5pcvQFKq64KUvkbN7v6WScshM7QjzoAPQbOLbBjKvm-CD9mDcuGPXbu1gS4NzR-3dstp04jRcsdLPJaiT1RVi9jkfEzalSFT4LHQj3Yp4n-F3NXVDLHX_fcAvIFdpGw0EcINPyzMz7WDKn2Gm6UFvTHQ=s320" width="213" /></a></div>Ohhhhh fffffffffudge! My family is having a crisis for Christmas... along with many other families, of course. I can't talk about ours yet, but do come back next Monday for the spilling of the tea, slinging of the fudge, and so on.<p></p><p>In the meantime, I am eating ice cream for breakfast, at my desk, in my office, while wearing my daughter's novelty Santa hat, and I don't care who judges my fudge.</p><p>Let yourself eat ice cream. Or cake. That's right, let yourself eat cake. This is 21st century America, and cake is cheaper than onions.</p><p>If you're having a hard time this holiday season, know that you are not alone. The world is stupid right now. Try to enjoy some sparkles and sprinkles anyway. At stressful times, I like to remember what my Holocaust survivor father-in-law used to say, that he could do without necessities if only he had the right luxuries.</p><p>So don't worry if you drop some balls this season. Eat ice cream for breakfast, or cake, or both. Accept every gift and moment of joy that comes along, guilt-free. Don't bother to count calories, beans, or even blessings if forced gratitude makes you grinchy. Put fudge on everything. And consider stealing this perfect tweet for your email signature through the end of the year:</p>
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p dir="ltr" lang="en">This is just to say...<br /><br />I have dropped<br />the ball<br />on that thing <br />you asked about<br /><br />and which <br />you were probably<br />hoping<br />I would do<br /><br />Forgive me<br />It's 2021<br />so just<br />fuck everything.</p>— Dr Sarah Shulist (@sarahshulist) <a href="https://twitter.com/sarahshulist/status/1456644325551509507?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 5, 2021</a></blockquote><p><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;">📚</p><p>Jean Michelle Miernik is the author of <a href="https://www.jeanmichellemiernik.com/"><i>Leirah and the Wild Man: A Tale of Obsession and Survival at the Edges of the Byzantine World</i> and <i>The Grove of Thorismud: A Beauty, a Beast, a Slayer, and a Priest</i></a>.</p> <script async="" charset="utf-8" src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>Jean Michelle Miernikhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08971882597502010124noreply@blogger.com0