Ditch the BMI and find your hot spot.

Beautiful women come in all shapes and sizes. Rich women can pay for personal trainers, nutritionists, macrobiotic chefs, fancy gym memberships, orange spray tans, liposuction, boob jobs, lip implants...

But money can't buy body confidence. An attractive woman is proud, healthy, and exudes self-love and sensuality. There is pressure in our culture to be thin, but thin does not necessarily mean beautiful, healthy, attractive, or happy.

I LOVE this body-confidence anthem by Romanian singer Miss Platinum:



The BMI (Body Mass Index) was invented by Weight Watchers and does not take into account your body's density and composition. It has nothing to do with fitness. There are some fat women who are healthier than some skinny women.

The general public will make its judgments, but there are really one or two people whose opinions count: Yours and that of your significant other. If they don't match? Your "other" can always be exchanged. Think of attractiveness from a marketing perspective. You aren't in the business of mass-producing youself. There is only one of you, and (I speak for most ladies) you are looking for one person as a mate. There are characteristics that most people find generally attractive, but each individual human has his or her own unique tastes. You can shoot for being "generally non-offensive" in appearance, or you can be super hot to a select few--who cares if someone out there isn't into your look? You can't please everyone. It's important for your mate to be physically attracted to you, but you shouldn't need to look hot for strangers, coworkers, your friends, or family members. It can be annoying for your mom or sister to criticize your looks, but in the end, it's not their business.

However, health and self-esteem are important to ALL your interpersonal relationships. Don't let dissatisfaction with your physical imperfections, real or imagined, get in the way of your life.

Find your own personal "hot spot"--the physical shape and fitness level that makes your body look and feel the most pleasing to you. You may be tall and slender, short and curvaceous, or powerfully muscular. I like to rock the high heels with my best posture. Most women wouldn't feel comfortable being over six feet tall, but I love it (and so does my husband, though he is of average height. Confidence in men is hot, too!) I've seen professional belly dancers and team sports players who are incredibly strong and healthy... and have voluptuous curves and smushy flesh, too. Some women can develop impressive musculature (like Venus and Serena Williams), and some women get wiry and lean with exercise.

You can't change your body type, but you can change your fitness level and attitude. Your most beautiful self is your healthiest, happiest self... to anyone who counts.

A parting quote from Sophia Loren:

"Everything you see I owe to spaghetti."

...and, I would add, a huge shot of confidence in her own skin. Love yourself, take good care of yourself, and exude your own unique beauty.